Triggering (Abuse): Mom's boyfriend

[Levi_]

Hey,

My mother is with an 18 yr old guy. She is 35. I was wondering if this is weird at all? I found out after coming back to live with her that she was with this guy. Hes taller than her, but he acts childish. If you think this is weird, can you give me a suggestion on how to get them to break up? Thanks

I'm going to add a little more. I want to say that my mom had a divorce a couple years ago, and then had her recent husband die. So, I think she is in a bad place right now...I wish I could get her to see that she deserves better, but she doesnt seem to be searching for that response from me. Rather, its like she wants me to stop getting in her business...I have talked to her about this...not about his age, but about his actions. And she tells me she loves him, and doesnt want me to mess it up for her. She does say she will put me in foster care if I stress her out. So I would like to find a way to break them up without her knowing I had anything to do with it. I love my mother, and I dont want to leave her again. I want it to work. There has got to be a way to break them up...

Going to add some more...
I'm adding this part cause I am confused by why she's letting him get away with this...
-He works a job, but will not give her money. (She is ok with this)
-He calls her u know, like easy and stuff like worse, and she just laughs like its funny.
-He cheats on her right in front of her! ???
-He hits her to make me mad. And she laughs, and kisses him. It makes me so mad.
-He makes me call him by my real father's name. I never even met my real father because my mom met him at a bar.
-My mother has a lot of money cause of her last husband and I wonder if it has something to do with him sticking around.

I just wish I was older because I swear I would beat the hell out of him.

I might as well tell this part too if anyone cares. I dont even no how I should feel about my mom anymore.

I went to this bar with my mother. She wanted to hang out with me because I had been good for her earlier. Well, she got REALLY drunk. I was sitting in this chair, and she came over and starting dancing on me. I was feeling uncomfortable, and so I shoved her a little bit so I could get up. She shoves me back down. I tried to smile at her, but she had her eyes closed, and was lip singing to a song playing in the background. She started pressing down hard onto my lap. I told her she was hurting me, but she kept ignoring me. So I pulled her hair…which I hate myself for. And then she started attacking me. One of her friends that was at the bar at the time broke us up, and rushed me to a bathroom. In the mirror, I saw that I was bleeding all over my face. I have not spoken to my mother about this. I really don't think she recalls this. People don't know what they are doing when they are drunk, right? Other sites were saying that it was intentional, and that she knew. They called her a pedophile and a monster. I love her, and I take responsibility because I should not have gone to the bar with her. I can't stop thinking about this. I just feel so confused, and it's making me depressed. Thanks so much for reading.

Can someone please explain it to me. What is going on with my life? Everything sux please

[SpecterH]

I think that's extremely inappropriate - for so many reasons that I'm not even going to attempt to explain.

Unfortunately, though, there may not be much that you can do about the situation. You're 13 years old, and I doubt that you'll have much influence on your mother's behaviour. However, I'd recommend that you take your mom aside and talk to her about the situation. Tell her that you feel uncomfortable with the age difference between her and her new boyfriend, and then go from there, see how the conversation goes.

I know it must be frustrating for you, but unfortunately, there may not be much that you can do about it.

Hope things get better; good luck.

[Dream]

Where do I begin?

Yes, an 18 year old with a 35 year old is way too big a difference. It sounds like they are just using each other and don't really love each other. He also sounds emotionally abusive toward you. It is bizarre that he would want you to call him by your biological fathers name.

Your mother sounds abusive. It is not your fault she wanted you to go to a bar. You're not old enough to be in one anyway, but regardless there is no excuse for what she did. You should not blame yourself at all.

It sounds like your mother is out of control. I'm not sure how you could get her to listen though. If things get bad enough, look into options for child protective services or moving in with your father (if that is even an option).