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-   -   dislike my best friends new boyfriend. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t12970-dislike-my-best-friends-new-boyfriend/)

hello giraffie May 2nd 2009 07:06 PM

dislike my best friends new boyfriend.
 
My best friend recently started dating a boy who I really don't like.
I feel really uncomfortable around him because he always says really mean and hurful things to me. I know she's noticed this, and I've talked to her about it, as well.
I don't want to tell her that I don't want her seeing him, because I don't want to be the mean, controlling friend and it's really none of my business who she dates.
I just don't want to spend time with him, because he's so mean to me, and they're always together.
I guess she noticed that I've been upset, because last night I recieved a text saying, "It's not that I don't care about you, but until you can sort out your drama, I'm going to hang out with other people."
I want to talk to her about whats going on, and tell her that I really don't like her boyfriend, but, like I said, I don't want to sound bitchy and controlling.
I'm also afraid that even if i think of something perfect to say to her, she'll take it the wrong way.
:/

liquidchill May 2nd 2009 07:15 PM

Re: dislike my best friends new boyfriend.
 
Maybe you could try talking to her boyfriend and not her. What kind of stuff does he say to you? Plus, she is your best friend and I doubt you want to loose her and I doubt she wants to loose you, so just talk to her tell her you still want to be best friends and you won't let her bf get int he way anymore. However, I would talk to her bf first tell him you think that for ur best friend's sake, you guys should get along.

Good Luck xoxo,
Flannery.

MadPoet May 2nd 2009 07:23 PM

Re: dislike my best friends new boyfriend.
 
Hey Sarah.
I can understand that you don't like her boyfriend, especially if he's been outright rude to you. I think that if you simply talk to your friends and tell her that he's not been extremely friendly with you, she should be considerate of your feelings and take what you say about him into consideration. While you're right that it's her decision who she dates, if he's been rude to you, as a friend, she should at least talk to him and let him know that you're her friend, and that she doesn't appreciate that. To be honest, it doesn't sound like your friend is being to kind. If she's so quick to decide she wants to hang out with other people in your place, maybe you should start finding people to hang out with instead of her. Either way, best of luck. Take care. x


Strider May 3rd 2009 11:11 PM

Re: dislike my best friends new boyfriend.
 
Hi Sarah,

Talking about how you feel and letting your friend know that her boyfriend is really hurting your feelings is not being bitchy. If that is what your friend thinks, then I think she needs a wake up call. If your feelings are being hurt, then you have every right to talk about it. That doesn't mean telling your friend to break up with her boyfriend, that mean telling her what he's been saying to you and how you feel about them. If she doesn't care about this, then I think you need to re-think your friendship.

I also suggest talking to the boyfriend about this. Just let him know that you don't appreciate what he's saying and that you think it is really rude. Do your best to ignore him after that. And don't hang around him! You don't need to listen to that while you're hanging out with your friend. Invite your friend by herself places and just hang out the two of you. Avoid them when they are together. Hopefully your friend will get the point.

Stay strong and take care ;)
Nat.


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