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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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punkchique Offline
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Controlling Mom - May 3rd 2009, 08:37 PM

I'm a senior in High School and I'm getting all the details ready for prom, Graduation and college. The problem is my mother is being very controlling about everything, especially with prom and graduation. She gave me a very minimal prom budget but I was okay with it because I figured that money was low and I was grateful to just be going to prom anyway. But I just found out that she is using the money to plan a big elaborate after graduation party for all her friends and family that she invited for graduation, a party that I told her explicitly that I didn't want. I know my mother probably means well but I fell like she is making this special time in my life all about her. I was really looking forward to having the type of prom I always dreamed about but now I can't because it's not in the budget. And i also found out that she has been drawing money from my bank account to pay for it all! What can I do? Do I just accept it and hope she isn't this controlling when it comes to something like my wedding in the future. Or do I grin and bear it because she can get very emotional and defensive and I don't like dealing with her. Thanks in advance.
   
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Re: Controlling Mom - May 3rd 2009, 08:54 PM

Hey. I think you should think about talking to your mom about this. It doesn't seem right that she would take money from your bank account to organize for a party you don't even want. I can understand that it would upset you. I get why there might be a budget that you have to stick to, but your mom shouldn't be spending half of the money that could be going towards the kind of prom you want, for a party that you don't even want to have. I'd talk to your mom and let her know that while her intentions are honorable, you aren't exactly willing to follow the exact plans for your prom and graduation that she seems to be making. It's a special time in your life, and you should be able to decide how you want to spend it. Hopefully your mom will at least listen to what you have to say about all of this. Best of luck. x





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Re: Controlling Mom - May 3rd 2009, 11:31 PM

Hey there,

Do what you can to take control of your bank account as soon as you can. Your mom should not be using your money without your permission, especially for something you have made clear that you don't want! Keep your money to yourself and try telling her what you would like to do with your prom while still staying inside the budget. Let her know that you are grateful that she's trying to help, but the party isn't really your think and you'd rather do something else.

Don't let her control this for you.
This is your time to have fun
Nat.


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