My mother doesn't approve of my boyfriend...

[Comatose_Kitten]

I've been seeing my bf for 3 months now. I love him to death, and he is the first guy that I could actually see a future with. I've always taken my life one day at a time, so I never really did see a future for myself, just nothing. I still don't really now what I would do with myself. We even talked about how we would raise our kids. When I told my mom she originally said flat out no. I talked with my therapist and got my mom to come in too. She got her to agree to let me see him. My mother doesn't approve because he is a bit shorter than I, he is only about 3 months younger than me. I am now 15. My mom says that he is far too immature for me, and when I am with him it looks as if I am "molesting a little boy." My mother judged him on his height and him being shy. He's probably one of the more mature guys actually, he takes care of me and knows when I am upset. He's even stopped me from killing myself. He has problems at home, he had to do side jobs outside of school to just afford wifi at his house. His phone got disconnected because his parents couldn't pay the bill. I barely get to see him outside of school. I want to have a real relationship with him. My mother lets me see him, but not without another one of her lectures on him being too small. He makes me so happy, but when I go home and my mom just drains me of it. I'm trying to recover from a depression, and I feel so close. Especially when I"m or have been with him. But then my mom just takes it away, what can I do to make my mom just give him a chance? A real chance to just see him the way I do?

[taylalatbh.]

I'm sorry that this is something that you have to go through but it sounds like your mother is being a bit ridiculous. Not allowing you to date someone because of his height just sounds stupid to me. Besides that though, the best thing you can do is just try to allow your mother to see how nice he is. Put up with her lectures for now, so you can see him. But don't disobey any rules that she puts in place. You are only 15 so unfortunately, you have to follow her rules until you're old enough to live and pay for yourself. If he is as nice a guy as you say he is, then she will more than likely come around eventually, so give it some time.

[Koharuchan]

I have to agree with Taylala; your mother is the one being ridiculous and honestly quite childish here, and I'm afraid there isn't much you can do other than sit down with her and have a calm and mature talk with her about why you care for this person and why her comments hurt you. Even if she gets angry or says something that hurts you or makes you angry, don't yell or make it a fight; keep calm and stay as mature as possible.

If you don't want to try this, or if you feel you can't try this alone, you mentioned seeing a therapist and that your therapist, as you wrote, got your mother to agree to let you see your boyfriend. Now, obviously I'm not saying your therapist can tell your mother to stop her lectures or to start liking your boyfriend, that's not his/her place. However, you can perhaps mention to your therapist what your mother has been saying and how it has been making you feel, and maybe set up a group session so that the three of you could talk about the issue and your therapist could help you tell your mother how she has been making you feel with her lectures and comments.

Good luck, I hope things work out for the best!