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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Keeping him away from me - June 7th 2014, 12:00 PM

I'm moving out in August. For the sake of my own mental sanity I need to keep my father away from me. I had an eating disorder 3 years ago and he uses it as a weapon against me, as a threat of taking away my life, basically saying that because I had this disorder I'm not mentally sane today and he has and always will have the power to take my life away from me and control it for me, etc. He's incredibly controlling and has terrifying temper tantrums when he's in a bad mood. Have you got any tips of severing contact, and stopping him from coming near me? He unfortunately knows where I'm going to be living as it's only around 30 minutes drive away :/



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Re: Keeping him away from me - June 9th 2014, 02:33 PM

Hello Laura. Sorry about your situation - but always remember you are in no way obligated to keep a relationship with your father if you don't want to. It sounds like an abusive relationship and I'm happy to hear that you'll be moving away, even if it isn't very far. I'd suggest having a talk with your dad. I know this can be a hard conversation, and if you're afraid of what he might say or do in person, you can write him a letter before you leave. Try not to be accusing or say anything that would get him to have a tantrum, but explain to him that you need some space and distance and would appreciate it if there wasn't much of a relationship between the two of you. Is there any other family member you can talk to about this? Maybe you can even have someone who he's closer with talk to him about this. However, you're going to have to find a way to communicate this to him otherwise he'll never know.

If things get so out of hand that it becomes so bad, there are always legal steps you can take to assure he won't come within a certain distance of you. I hope it doesn't get to that point, but if it does, do not be afraid. Always remember to take care of yourself, and when it comes to your health, you're so important. I hope everything works out for the best, and best of luck!
   
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