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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Mother and I fight so much - August 4th 2014, 05:12 AM

My mom and I fight a lot. She thinks I'm a know it all, and a mouthy person. It's gotten so bad where the cops have been called.. Tonight we were watching TV and a ad came on for a company I absolutely can't stand , and she loves so much. I made a comment about it and we started screaming and yelling, and she sent me to my room. 1 hour later she came up to my room when she was going to bed and said to cancel my movie plans and that I was grounded for the rest of the summer. Then we started fighting (screaming) again and she said she hates me and I'm a awful person and that's why I have no friends. (A whole different story.) So for the last hour and a half I've been crying uncontrollably and I can't stop or sleep and I just want help and to stop fighting.. And no matter how many times I say I'm sorry or how I don't want to fight anymore she just ignores me and yells more.. She also has a really bad relationship with her mother and talks really bad about her..
   
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Re: Mother and I fight so much - August 4th 2014, 06:23 AM

Hi there!

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. The fights you have with your mother sound really upsetting. Families fight, it's something that's gonna happen especially when you're growing up. If it's okay to ask, are most of the things you two fight about something trivial like the company ad comment? Trivial arguments are best not to escalate, nothing beneficial can come of them.

What you said, "and no matter how many times I say I'm sorry or how I don't want to fight anymore she just ignores me and yells more". I had to ask, are you telling her that you're sorry and that you don't wanna fight anymore during the argument or after? I think it'd be beneficial if you sit down with her when no one's around and you two weren't currently arguing and talk to her politely and not in a high voice. Let her know you don't wanna fight with her anymore, apologize, explain your feelings towards what she says. Then offer to hear her feelings and her side of the story.

To be close again and repair a relationship, it takes effort from both sides. Along with talking to her about how you feel, could you ask her to do a hobby with you so you two could bond? For example, things like making necklaces and braces out of beads (during which, you could talk about things in your life and ask her questions to become closer), and you could find a TV show you both like to watch together each week and talk about the episode.

I hope I helped and I hope things improve with your mom. You can PM me if you'd like someone to talk to. Stay strong!
   
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