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bluedoor Offline
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Unhappy Loneliness - August 6th 2014, 01:42 PM

Hi everyone, I would really appreciate your help.. It's just that 2 years ago I moved to a different country - I didn't speak the language or anything and even after those 2 years I didn't have any friends, because they got used to me being so quiet and they probably thought I don't even want to talk to them or I don't know. Anyway, this is over now. I was severely depressed and I stopped eating so my mum decided to move back to our home country.
At first it was very promising. I had all my friends back and I thought I can finally be happy. But something changed anyway. Maybe the isolation changed me but people now describe me as eccentric and weird and they don't seem interested with being friends with me. They keep turning me down, when I ask someone if they want hang out or something they're either not home, going somewhere or they just 'don't want to'.

So here I am, confused, lonely and sad. What am I doing wrong? And how can I fix it? Please someone tell me
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Always * Offline
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Re: Loneliness - August 6th 2014, 02:55 PM

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling in this way. Feeling isolated is definitely hard. I have had my fair share of this in my own way.

I think the best think to do is to be really self-reflective. Being different is a good thing but if your constantly talking about knitting sweaters for your 3 cats even though your friends don't like that stuff they might lose interest in your friendship because they feel like they can't connect with you. Or if you are always a downer (complaining, never happy etc) then they might not like hanging out with you because your dragging them down with you.

I myself like weird things (I crochet, I have mental health struggles etc.) but if I am depressed I'll either say I don't feel good and won't go out or I will do my absolute best to still be a good friend to be around because I don't need to drag people down with me.

I'm not saying your doing anything wrong, but it's a place to start just in case you are accidentally doing something that puts people off. We all do this sometimes.

If that isn't it, it might just be that you truly have nothing in common with these people and seeking out new friendships might be for the best.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: Loneliness - August 6th 2014, 06:38 PM

Maybe look for some clubs and sports to join during the school year? You'll have tons of new people to meet and hopefully form a friendship with. And Always* said, be self-reflective as well. You may not be aware of it, but maybe something you're doing is bothering them? If I were you if confront then about it--if you do this, remember not to be rude. You may feel upset or angry, but exploding at them will only add fuel to the fire

I hope this helps. Feel free to message me any time

"Don't tell me you're not beautiful. You're the kind of beautiful the blind would see if we could figure out some way to give them three seconds of sight." -- Shane Koyczan
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