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View Poll Results: Should I visit?
Yes 1 100.00%
No 0 0%
Voters: 1. You may not vote on this poll

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Rose Weaver Offline
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Unhappy I Miss You. I Miss You Not. - August 12th 2014, 12:40 PM

Loosing a family member is horrible, but loosing an entire side of the family is... unbearable, and heartbreaking. Especially, when there all out there and they haven't even lifted a finger to try and call me in over 7 years. I was 7 when I last saw my father and his side of the family, due to moving to the other side of the country. I had no idea what lies, affairs, violent offences and jail times that were behind my family. And I thank my mother for pulling us out of there. As well as my mum getting verbal and physical abused, my older sister and brother and I were to at the receiving end too... all from our father. But at that young age I was so confused by everything, and I didn't take note.
Even though my family seem like nothing to miss, for the past few years I've been feeling hollow, alone and empty. I never had cousin, aunties and uncles to play and celebrate things with, so I am admitting to envying my friends families. I miss mine soo much, it feels like some ones gripping my heart and squeezing the life out of me. Is it right to miss people like them?
It kills me more by the thought that my father cant even remember how old I am... My birthday... I don't even know if he's still alive.
My mum doesn't allow us to have any contact with him, and I cant tell her how I feel because I feel I am betraying my mother. And I feel guilty to what she's been through.
But I miss them so much it hurts, and I wake up with my eyes swollen at night because I cry so much. Everything's just so complicated in Life.
   
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Re: I Miss You. I Miss You Not. - August 12th 2014, 03:14 PM

Hey there,

I personally think that you should go, as long as you are prepared that things may not be as you think they are. From what you have said, I don't think you will ever be at peace until you have visited them. But keep in mind: you have not seen these people in a long time, and what you may be feeling might not be missing your family but instead missing the presence of an ideal one.

If you do decide to visit them, do talk to your mum about it first. You would not want something like this to strain your relationship with her, yes?

Message me if you need to talk

Hope I helped,

Kyra
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MsNobleEleanor Offline
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Re: I Miss You. I Miss You Not. - August 13th 2014, 12:25 PM

Hey there,

We do what is best for ourselves and others whatever that is, in the end those choices aren't easy to make.

I would like you to read the above sentence a couple of times for me. What your mother had to do you may not fully understand why she took you out of that kind of environment. It could be anything, for example you were young when she took you away from those kinds of people. Do you think you know why that is? She was only doing her best at that time to protect you.

I don't think what decision your mom made was easy for her, in fact it would have been very hard for her to make because of the violence, lies, affairs, jail, and other factors. It sounds like she wanted to protect you and that you wouldn't grow up around that kind of unhealthy behavior.

Have you thought about asking your mom why she won't allow you to talk to any of your family members? This may give you an opportunity to ask more questions about the rest of your family. If you choose to ask your mom make sure she isn't stressed out or too busy and in a good mood, make sure you're both sitting down so both of you are comfortable and facing each other. Standing can cause a few posture changes that may influence bad energy to the other.

Let us know how you are doing, okay?

Take good care.


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