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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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DanTheMan :P Offline
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Name: Dan
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Relationship with my dad is deteriorating - August 21st 2014, 11:12 PM

Basically, since I started doing exams, I can count the number of conversations I've had with him that HAVN'T been to do with education on one hand. He then gets annoyed when I switch off during one of his daily lectures on the importance of school, because I can recite them by heart. Anyway, first world problems yadayadayada.

However, last saturday I was looking at uni open days at his express command. What really pissed me off though, is that he told me to leave the room I was sitting in, and sit in front of him so he can monitor what I'm doing. He's always been a patronising person, but this just pushed one of my buttons, and we had one of our "arguments" which basically consists of me refusing, then him saying "stop arguing and just do as you are told" then walking off. This, as always, really winds me up, so we have very limited conversations that day.

The thing is, he hasn't actually spoken to me since. Maybe its bad, but I'm just relieved, I feel a lot happier this week than I have in a while.

My respect for him has been draining away rapidly since he just wants a show pony family. His lectures are always concluded by how one of his colleagues sons/daughters are at a high-flying uni and how he wants to be able to tell them where I am going.

My nan, his own mum, said that she feels he cares more about having the perfect family than he does about its individual members.

Well anyway, theres my vent over, g'night!
   
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Re: Relationship with my dad is deteriorating - August 22nd 2014, 02:11 AM

Hey Dan,

It's possible that your dad's actions are his own way of loving you. Some parents find it difficult to tell their children that they love them and so they do it in other ways, like nagging at them about school because they want them to do well in order to have a great future.

But if your nan is right, then there really isn't much you can do apart from talk to him about how you feel your relationship with him is deteriorating because of what he's doing.

Feel free to message me if you would like to talk!

Kyra
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Re: Relationship with my dad is deteriorating - August 22nd 2014, 09:17 AM

Hey,

This sounds really intense. It can be hard when it feels as though a parent cares more about your successes then they do about you as an actual person. I think you have to try and remember that this is an issue that is your dads alone and does not reflect on you in any way. I am sure it would be cool if you and your dad could talk about things that didn't pertain to school though. Would it be possible to talk to your dad about your feelings or would that just lead to an argument.

You know, as frustrated as you get just remember that in no time you will be able to get away from it all and go to whatever college you choose and once you are there you will probably meet some pretty amazing people.

I hope that this helped in some way.


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