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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Freaking the fuck out - September 12th 2014, 12:14 AM

I am freaking the fuck out right now. Every now and then I look up my father, step mother and half sister on facebook well their names and nothing ever comes up. Well today I found a Veronika and she kind of looks like me so I messaged her and said I might be her half sister. and asked if her parent's were so and so. Anyways now I'm freaking the fuck out because I don't want anything to do with her ffather if it is her. But I want to know her. I'm just terrified I opened myself up for hell.


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Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: Freaking the fuck out - September 12th 2014, 05:50 PM

Hey!

If it is your half sister then you can always say you want to get to know her but do not want to have any contact with your dad. You can always block your dad on Facebook so he can't message you.
   
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Re: Freaking the fuck out - September 12th 2014, 06:10 PM

Hey there,

I havenít been in that situation exactly, but was in a similar situation and I can understand your fear. Itís natural to look up your other relatives on Facebook, especially if you donít know them.

First of all, she may take a while to reply to you. Since you arenít friends with her, then the message will be sent to the ĎOtherí inbox, which many people overlook. Also, has she heard of you? Or know that she has a half-sister? If she doesnít, then she may be a bit wary of who you are. If she does get back to you, then Iím sure you could say that you donít want anything to do with your father, or at least say that you donít want him to know you contacted her? She should understand as it can be difficult with step/half relatives.

All the best!
   
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Re: Freaking the fuck out - September 13th 2014, 01:01 AM

Hey, strangely enough, I experienced this situation except on the other side of the situation. My ex boyfriends mom had him when she was super young (like 18 or 19) and the baby daddy was around 27, he already had a 10 year old daughter of his own by this point. So when I was in grade 12 this girl messaged him and was sort of like "look, I know this is weird but you're actually my brother, I have been trying to find a way to contact you for a long time" etc.

I just want you to know that if she IS your sister that you don't have to have anything to do with the father (both your fathers I'd guess?). My ex wanted nothing to do with his bio dad, he told his sister that he understood she was in communication with the bio dad but that the bio dad could have talked to him any time in the last 18 years and he just choose not to and that my ex wanted nothing to do with him because it just hurt to much that he'd been made to go through not having a dad still... And she actually understood and explained how the bio dad would have nothing to do with their communications, she just wanted to meet her brother.

This meeting went super well.

Now, everyones situation will be different depending on your own situation. Your sister might be to young to understand that a parent doesn't need to know everything, she might not be good at not meddling (ex. she might think she is doing you a favour by involving the father and that you just don't know it)... But I think you just need to make it clear to her that the father is not to be involved.

I hope that you get a positive response from this girl! Either way, I want you to know you can come to me for help




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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