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this is so ridiculous - October 3rd 2014, 05:17 AM

My mom side of the family hated my dad from the start because he is not Jewish (I know, its a stupid reason) but I didn't think they're THAT ridiculous.Long story short...my mom worked in IBM company and had some savings from them. When she died, my uncle (her brother) was the informer and made it official that my parents have been divorced on the death certificate. I actually found the death certificate a while back and was confused to see a check indicating they've been divorced but I figured they might have divorced and remarried and didn't think much of it. But no this was a mistake, my uncle purposely lied. He used to do some cruel things to my parents that I don't get into but there's no doubt it was intentional. I know because they threw a party for my grandma on her 80th birthday and in the slideshow they showed my mother with 4 kids but no squiggly line to show my dad! They treat him really unfairly since I was a young child and I'm not falling for the possibily of a mistake because this is on purpose. So why does this matter? Obviously my dad doesn't need validation so he never bothered to fix it. But now our financial situation is getting to a point that we need the savings from the IBM account. In order to get that my dad must prove he was married to her. He showed the marriage certificate but this isn't enough because of the death certificate showing otherwise. Now we are in this weird position because how does he prove such a thing? There are 3,700 counties in the USA do we really have the time money and energy to get proof from each one? That's what it seems like they are asking for. -_- just because my uncle wishes they weren't married and he is mean. He has his own wife and kids, let my father deal with his own and you can deal with yours. He already messed up my life in various ways but this is ridiculous. I'm frustrated because he is exercising legal authority and its not fair. He is not entitled to.
   
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Re: this is so ridiculous - October 3rd 2014, 02:54 PM

Hi Susan,

Iím sorry to hear about your mum passing away. I canít imagine how hard that must be, especially with the way your uncle is treating your dad and how stressful everything else is.

You are right about your uncle lying. The death certificate refers to information at the time of death, in your case, your mum was married at the time of death, and therefore your uncle lied.

I donít know about law in America (or the different states either) but lying on an official document (e.g. death certificate) is a criminal offence. I think your dad should report it to the police. I would recommend a lawyer, but you said that you donít have that money. Are there are any citizens advice offices or free public law clinics in your area? These can provide free help and advice on what to do next. Iím not too sure on how divorce works, but if you could contact a registrar (office that deals with official records, like births, deaths, and marriages) and get a letter from them explaining that your parents were married and had never divorced, that could help a lot.

Depending on the amount of money that your mum has in savings (and other factors), you may need to go through probate services to get access to the savings, who you will have to explain the situation to. Do you know if your uncle has access to the savings? If he does, would it be possible to freeze access to the account, so no-one can touch the money until itís been sorted?

Iím so sorry about how your uncle has treated you and your father. The best thing to do now, is to try to get help to sort this out and then cut him off from your lives completely.

Take care
   
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