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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Judged because of my friends? - October 3rd 2014, 05:42 AM

Hey,

so, lately I've been hearing a lot of crap talk about my "group." Apparently, everyone is under the impression that EVERYONE in my group of friends is exactly like they are... loud, annoying, peppy, nerdy, and obnoxious.
i'm probably the opposite of most of those things, yet i hang out with these people because...well, most of them are really good friends of mine, and we're the group that kind of accepts everybody, i guess. (coughcoughTHE REJECTScoughcough)

but, i don't know, it's like all the loud people in the group define EVERYONE in the group. and they're really embarrassing. they sing really bad on purpose, they're always fREAKING OUT about fricking Doctor Who (whatever the hell is so great about that), and they get wayyy too loud and obnoxious and ANNOYING over everything.
i love them to death, but they can get extremely embarrassing.

i really don't want to be seen as one of them.

how do i do this, exactly?
I mean, I sort of have a reputation to hold up at school. I've liked a guy since last school year, and I almost had a shot with him. But his group of friends hates my "group of friends", so I'm not sure if they're influencing his opinion of me (we used to be really great friends) or what.

I don't know.. please don't go on and say, "omg well who cares if they judge you? if you love your friends, and they don't like that, then they obviously don't care enough to learn who YOU really are."

yeah, i don't talk cheesy crap like that.
I want to know how I can look different from the weirdos in my group from the OUTSIDE. What happens if someone comes to school and doesn't know me...he only sees that I hang out with a bunch of losers, so bam, there goes the first impression??


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Re: Judged because of my friends? - October 3rd 2014, 12:38 PM

I used to have people being like that to me in high school. I hung out with a group of druggies, a group of band/artsy kids, and a group of country partiers. Lots of people assumed I used drugs when I didn't. But the people in that group were good about not inviting me to parties because they knew drugs would be there and I wouldn't go but they didn't want me to be left out so they made it clear about the reason they didn't invite me and that the invitation was open if I wanted to go. If anything I respected them more for doing their thing but accepting me and being honest and kind even though I was different. I guess my point is that you are friends with everyone for a reason even if people external to the group will make idiotic assumptions about you. People who knew me knew I'd never do those things.

If it really bugs you just make new friends. Having multiple groups of friends is always good. Sometimes you get sick of the same people any how and it's nice to have other people to talk to. Especially cause inter-group drama always drove me nuts so that's usually when I'd spend more time with another circle of friends or I'd come in to do something in the library and just sit with who ever was there. If people don't associate you with just one gsoup they'll be less likely to judge you on those people because they'll associate you as you. It might mean the see you as a "floater" which is what people called me in high school but I was also on good terms with pretty much everyone.




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