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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Thanksgiving :( - October 14th 2014, 05:25 AM

Today (well technically yesterday) was thanksgiving and I thought it would be an alright day, but it wasn't. For most of the day I felt depressed. What was even worse is everybody ignored me and no one invited me to have thanksgiving dinner. I felt so worthless and unwanted. My counselor recommended that I help out with the cooking and setting the table. I thought about it, but I felt it wouldn't help, but only hurt my depression because my father's girlfriend gets really loud and insulting at people at every little thing. Her daughters were helping her with the dinner, but she kept yelling and screaming at them, even telling one of them to fuck off at one point. My father seems to think I am "deliberately trying to sabotage his relationship" . I felt like saying something sarcastic in return, but instead left the house to clear my head.

I honestly don't have a family. I never really had a family. I am alone and I'm always the outsider
   
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Re: Thanksgiving :( - October 14th 2014, 12:27 PM

Hey Ryan,

Sorry to hear you feel this way- I have felt similar.

I agree with your counselling that helping out or trying to bond with your family is a good idea, but I understand that this may be difficult for you.

I totally understand the scenario of Ďhelping is good, but if I help, I will get yelled at, if I donít help, everyone ignores meí. Have you helped out in the past? Sometimes bad past experiences can cloud our judgement and especially with depression, it can be difficult to feel motivated to do things.

Your fathers girlfriendís attitude sounds a bit concerning. Have you talked to your father about how she composes herself and how you feel because of this? I am wondering why your father is under the impression that you are out to sabotage his relationship. Could you express that you are not, but that you would appreciate her not being so loud? Iím glad you didnít say something sarcastic and went for a walk instead- that is definitely very mature of you!

Have you ever bonded with family in the past, or has it always been like this? Iím sure, that if you wanted to, you could find ways of bonding with your family. Do you have any similar interests that you could bond over? Perhaps next thanksgiving you could arrange to treat the family for a meal out? If not, could you spend time with other family or friends?

Growing up and having depression, as well as feeling left out, can make you feel lonely and isolated. But sometimes friends can be the family that we donít have. Do you have any close friends to talk to? Perhaps spending more time cultivating friendships, can help you deal with the feelings of not being wanted, as well as spending slightly less time with family, so you wonít have to deal with angry outbursts.

Have you talked to your counsellor about your family and how you feel alone? I definitely recommend telling her your feelings regarding thanksgiving.

Take care


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Re: Thanksgiving :( - October 14th 2014, 11:04 PM

Hey, sorry you're going through a difficult time.

Your dad's girlfriend definitely sounds like a bitch and your dad should be siding with you, seeing as you're his blood and probably only biological child? Don't know if he has any other kids, but you're the one in his life at the moment and he should be looking out for you. I think going to counseling would help with these problems, and maybe you can bring your father into one of the sessions? I don't know if your counselor allows that, mine does.

Another thing to think about is the fact you're 24. I don't know if there are circumstances keeping you at home with your dad, his girlfriend, and her children. But if there isn't, maybe consider finding a place of your own? It sounds like you're in a very hostile environment and the best thing would be to get away from it as soon as possible. If there are circumstances, maybe try doing some research and try finding some friends or a community you can live with/in until you get your feet on the ground.

Best of luck, you're welcome to keep blogging and posting on TeenHelp.
   
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Re: Thanksgiving :( - October 15th 2014, 09:16 PM

I have helped out in the past. But I've pulled away from doing so when my fathers girlfriend is around. I have talked to him about the way she acts, but he told me that she isn't like that and she's nice when you get to know her. From what heard though, it doesn't seem to be the case. I've almost never bonded with family, because I've never really had one to begin with. In fact, I didn't like spending time with both of my parents because an argument would happen.

I don't have anywhere to go besides my mothers. If i'm forced back then I'd rather not live. I am working on getting some money together and finding a full time job so I can live on my own.
   
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