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95% sure dad is cheating. - October 23rd 2014, 03:30 AM

So today I go on my computer. I noticed a tab open along with some other ones my dad had opened earlier when he was using it, but one of them stood out. It was Xdating.com
So, I clicked on it. It led me to this discusting website with all these nude girls profiles in their 20s and 30s, and it was logged into an account under my dads name. So im sitting here like ... so i started creeping on my dads account to figure out what the hell this thing is and why hes on it. I found myself in this looonnngg chat log with some 38 year old chick that lives around here. My dad was at kickboxing when i found it and ive been to scared to say anything since he got home a few hours or so ago, just been avoiding him.
My parents have always fought alot but recently I have noticed him getting more agressive like more fighting. Also recently he started this "kick boxing class" I put it in quotations because after what I found out today Im pretty sure thats not what hes been doing, because hes only home early in the mornign and later in the evening, which isnt like him.
I kinda freaked out earlier when i first saw the website, im a little calmer now but i have no idea what to do.
Im scared to tell my mom 1 because she might not believe me and 2 i dont want to hurt her, and im scared to confront my dad because it would be easy for him to just completely blow up and scream at me or threaten me to keep my mouth shut or something, and my best best friend and me arent really getting along anymore, and all my other friends arent close enough to me that id want to tell them this.
I dont know if I should just wait and see what happens or tell someone.. what should i do?
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Re: 95% sure dad is cheating. - October 23rd 2014, 04:14 AM

Hi Maya.

Although talking to someone about this may seem a little scary, I think you should tell your mom for her benefit. I am sure that she would like to be aware of this so she can sort through the things she's experiencing. I think you should sit down with your mom and explain the things you found along with the behavior your dad has been displaying lately.

You can tell your mom in person if you're comfortable enough to. You can start out by telling her that she isn't going to like what you're going to tell her, but she needs to know. If you're afraid of your mom's reaction you can tell her in public as she'll be more likely to keep her composure. If you don't want to express this verbally, you can write a note to include everything. I would recommend handing it to her but you can also leave it in a place where you know only she will find it.

Keep in mind that these issues are between your parents - it isn't your fault and this is something they should sort out themselves. Take good care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it.

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Re: 95% sure dad is cheating. - October 24th 2014, 10:27 PM

Hey there,

If you tell your mom you should tell her at a time when she is feeling the least stressed out and explain to her that you have some information that she might not like and that it might upset her and then let her know what you have found out and why it is concerning to you. In the end what she decides to do with the information is up to her and her alone.

You could consider talking to your dad about this but as you said he might get angry about it or deny it. If you decide to talk to him make sure that you will be safe. And, talk to him about what you saw and why it concerned you. See what his response is and go from there.

Lastly, you could always choose to take this information and keep it to yourself. If your father is cheating there is a big chance that it will end up working itself out one way or another. Either he will stop what he is doing or your mom will figure it out. It isn't necessarily your responsibility to be the bearer or bad news. I think you just have to figure out if you can live with this information and go from there.

You have numerous options available to you you just have to figure out which one works best for you and go from there.

I hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything feel free to message me.

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