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Well that was lame of me - May 8th 2009, 12:33 AM

So after school I was waiting for my mom, and this girl I'm friends with and have been kind of talking to for a little bit happened to stop by. We hadn't seen each other in person in a while, so when she came to say hi I got really nervous and froze up a bit. We started talking had a short and really awkward conversation. So as the conversation was wrapping up (after only about 30 seconds) she was like, "Alright well I'm gonna go in now [we were in the sort of lobby area outside of a hallway], I'll see you later if you're leaving?"

Now, I could've said: "Nah my mom won't be here for a little bit," and followed her in and hung out with her. But, of course, I pussied out and stayed there and said "Yeah I have to wait for my mom but I'll see you later."

How do I get some courage to unfreeze and just have a comfortable fun conversation and not chicken out?


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Re: Well that was lame of me - May 8th 2009, 12:45 AM

its ok to freeze, everyone does it, so everyone understands (almost everyone). Just learn to let go of how you appear when your talking to someone, and you will find that things go a lot smoother.


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Re: Well that was lame of me - May 8th 2009, 09:59 PM

Hey Jason,

I've actually done this quite a bit. It's normal to freeze up and not know what to say, and I think it's a good way to learn what to do next time. Now that you're conscious of what you could have said, you'll know for next time it happens.

The best way to really get used to talking with people is just to go out and talk to them. It can be hard to know what to say or how to continue, but you'll only get more nervous if you never go up and talk. Being nervous is normal. Actually, some really good advice my dad gave me once is that people expect you to be nervous. This goes for meeting people, talking, making a presentation- anything! Being nervous shows that you care a lot about the conversation and that you're putting a lot of effort into what you're doing.

Maybe next time you could bring up the fact that you're nervous talking to people when you talk to this girl. I'm sure she'll understand, and it will probably make it a lot less awkward of a conversation. Maybe start thinking about what you could say to her next time, so you have the questions fresh in your mind. That way they will come easier to you.

Don't worry about freezing up Just do your best to stay calm and plan ahead questions to get to know other people better. Having them lead the conversation might help.

Nat.


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