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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My so called 'Friend.' - March 5th 2015, 05:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

First off I want to start by saying that I labeled this as Triggering for Suicide, but there are other factors that my be triggering, so please keep that in mind. Also, don't judge for what I'm about to say, I know this is gonna be really harsh, but I just need to get this out, and I still stand by my decision to post this regardless on what anyone else has to say.

Okay, so a few weeks ago (if that) I met a friend online. I had only talked to them for about two days before I got a message saying that the 'friend' of mine has died in a horrible car accident. I was fairly upset. I felt guilty for their family, and I just didn't know if there was anything I should do, or say. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was odd that I had only talked to my 'friend' for a few days, and what are the odds that not only has this new 'friend' of mine had passed away, but then a personal friend of said person messaged ME of all the people they could have, just to tell me what happened.

I know that it's kinda bad that I'm second guessing this, and I felt even more guilty over questioning this than I did about the person passing without me getting to know them better. Well I looked up online news about fatal car accidents in the town that they live in. I couldn't find anything. I also messaged the friend of said person again to see if they could send me the online news report about the accident. Nothing.

About two days after that, I got another message from my 'friend' who died saying they must have left their social media account logged in to while they were at school. They said that they had been gone for a bit over the weekend, and all this happened. I truly find that so hard to believe. I know I should have more faith in a friend than that, but I can't be the only person who finds that odd. Why would you even be on social media at school? (Most schools have things like that blocked anyway.) Even if you were to log in to it, why on earth would you be so careless as to leave yourself signed in.

Now this 'friend' of mine has told me that they want to commit suicide. I of course tried to talk them out of it, but with no luck. I know this sounds REALLY bad, but I don't believe them. I truly don't. I think they are only doing this for attention and I believe they made it up all themselves. I don't think they are going to commit suicide, and I don't believe that they left their social media accounts signed in to. I do feel slightly guilty about believing its a lie, but none of their story ever adds up. It's just so frustrating.

I was originally going to post this in the 'Why Me?' Forum, but I wasn't sure if it really belonged there, so I posted it here instead considering it's about my so called 'friend' lying to me. I'm not really sure if I need advice as much as I really needed to get all of this out. It's really been bothering me. Thanks for reading!


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: My so called 'Friend.' - March 5th 2015, 05:52 PM

Hey, Ade, don't be afraid to post your concerns anywhere on TH. I think you've posted this thread in the correct forum, since it does have to do with a "friend". We're not here to judge you, and if anyone is then please report them to the appropriate forum mod.

There is nothing wrong with you doubting and second-guessing this person. When the first flag went up, like you, I would have looked up fatal car accidents in their city/town. Try talking to them, because there has to be a reason they're doing this. They are definitely putting you in a difficult position by saying they'll commit suicide. If they actually follow through, you'll live with that guilt. But if they don't, then you'll feel duped.

I suggest contacting someone they know and informing them of this.
   
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Re: My so called 'Friend.' - March 5th 2015, 06:36 PM

Thank you. and I will.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: My so called 'Friend.' - March 5th 2015, 07:56 PM

Wow, this sounds like a really confusing situation. I just wanted to mention because even I, just reading it is confused. My biggest question is how does your random online friend know your friend in real life are they the same people?

At any rate, I hope you get more pieces of this puzzle. Sounds really fishy, I don't blame you for questioning things. Of course suicide is serious, but that's exactly why if someone is lying that's a horrible thing to do. I can't say whether they're lying. Sometimes people outright lie and other times people misinform in an unintentional way. Like if they say they're suicidal and that word can be taken as having a plan and intent but they can mean it as they're casually thinking about it. You know what I mean?
Another example would be when people say "I'm so OCD" but a)they weren't diagnosed and b)they might not have the condition to the extent as someone diagnosed with OCD might.
   
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Calaer Offline
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Re: My so called 'Friend.' - March 5th 2015, 08:16 PM

I'm sorry that was kind of confusing. I meant that my online 'friend' (the one I don't believe) had one of their friends message me. (Supposedly.) I don't know either of them irl.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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