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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ninjasaur :] Offline
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Name: nicole!
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Join Date: May 9th 2009

My best friend.. - May 10th 2009, 05:39 AM

is pushing me away. Let's call her A. It feels like A doesn't want to be my best friend anymore. She's been very secretive with me and has been openly hiding things from me, and sometimes I accidentally ask her a question she refuses to answer, only saying "oh, B [our other best friend] knows." I've been holding on to our relationship as tightly as I can but honestly, I'm not capable of or even willing to save it if she's not going to present her side of the story. I'm tired of prying for answers and reminding her that I'm still here, and I think she's starting to paint a new picture without me in it. Every time I try to talk to her she gives me a look as if I'm supposed to know what's up! I just.. don't know what else I can do, besides let her go. She's been my best friend for six years, and I dunno..
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Re: My best friend.. - May 10th 2009, 06:01 AM

Hey, Nicole. I went through something quite similar to this, and it's no fun at all. There are a few things you can do. First of all, you can confront her about it. I'm not sure from your post if you've done this already or not, but if you haven't, I recommend it. It's the easiest, most straightforward way to get things out in the open.

If that doesn't work, another option is to distance yourself slightly from her. It can be really hard, but it's what I did to save my friendship, and it worked. No matter how close two friends are, sometimes they just need breaks from each other. Since you guys have been friends for so long, she might just be trying to branch out and do some things without you. If that's the case, give her time to do just that. More than likely, she'll come back to you.

Finally, there is the option to just give up on the friendship. If you think it's too far gone, you might not want to waste time and energy trying to fix it. However, in my experience, six year friendships are too meaningful to give up on. I hope you can work things out eventually and be close friends again. Good luck with everything!

I lost myself in the space between heaven and hell.
...where do we go from here?

R.I.P. Sarah; 1991-2009
Kacy; 1992-2009
I'll never forget.

Two months clean and sober.
Seven months since last cut.
Still struggling and surviving.

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Re: My best friend.. - May 10th 2009, 09:29 AM

Been there too
I would confront her about it if i were you, it's something I always regretted not doing. Don't give up just yet, maybe there is something going on in her life that is causing her to be like this, don't give up on her yet

Love Longer.
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend.. - May 16th 2009, 03:03 PM

I am currently going through the same thing! my best friend of 4 years just got her first boyfriend, and is slowly drifting off. I let go for a month or two, and we seem to be getting closer. If you have a good history with someone, it is important to do all that you can to keep the relationship. confront her! It is the best idea, even if it is difficult to do.
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Collapsed Offline
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Re: My best friend.. - May 16th 2009, 06:00 PM

I hear ya on this one. Its tough, as i am going through it now also. Things seem to be looking up, maybe give some space and just being there.
or try talking to her, let her know how you feel. and see how she reacts.
and if worse comes to worse, maybe it is time for it to end. It's sad to say/see. but sometimes we have no other options.
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