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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thelifeandtimes Offline
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Question My mother and my best friend. Oh, what to do. :/ - May 11th 2009, 12:37 AM

So last week I was living with my best friend (let's call her 'Jane') while her parents were across the country looking for a house. You see, she's moving far away in a few months, and we've been spending as much time together as possible.

But on my last day staying at 'Jane's' house, my mom came over to see if everything was okay and was about to help clean up a few messes that we missed. The next thing you know, Jane and my mother are arguing about the cleaning. Jane was talking back to my mom and my mom was not afraid to tell her off.

My mom is going through a divorce right now, and she's very stressed and on edge.

By the end of the fight, Jane has stomped upstairs and was crying, and my mom told me that we were leaving. So I went with my mom. What else was I supposed to do, right?

Well now Jane won't talk to me, and my mom and I are in a horrible fight.
I don't even know where I should start to fix this mess.

I'm not excited for school tomorrow.
I go to a high school in the city, so most of my friends don't go to school tomorrow. All of my friends are more Jane's. So I'm scared that they'll hear what happened and not talk to me. I'm already not popular, and the idea of sitting by myself on the bus or at lunch is a little.. Frightening.

Ugh. I feel so lost and confused right now. :/


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Mel14 Offline
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Re: My mother and my best friend. Oh, what to do. :/ - May 11th 2009, 01:28 AM

When your friends and parents fight, its the worst, I know. I would just talk to Jane. However, don't use the divorce as an excuse for the whole thing. Maybe explain to her what's going on, and then apologize for your mom's actions. From first hand experience, I know it's very irritating when a person who's not your parent come in and tell me what to do in my own house. Teenagers are teenagers, and they need space. Jane may come around and say sorry to your mom, but that's all that you can really do. This isn't really your mess to fix.

Best wishes.
Megan


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thelifeandtimes Offline
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Re: My mother and my best friend. Oh, what to do. :/ - May 11th 2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mel14 View Post
When your friends and parents fight, its the worst, I know. I would just talk to Jane. However, don't use the divorce as an excuse for the whole thing. Maybe explain to her what's going on, and then apologize for your mom's actions. From first hand experience, I know it's very irritating when a person who's not your parent come in and tell me what to do in my own house. Teenagers are teenagers, and they need space. Jane may come around and say sorry to your mom, but that's all that you can really do. This isn't really your mess to fix.

Best wishes.
Megan
I've been trying to call and text 'Jane' all day. But she's been ignoring them.
I'm not really sure how to make this right if 'Jane' wont put in an effort.
But she's leaving, and I don't want her to move across the country while we're both in this kind of state. I'm trying and trying, and I don't know what to do.


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Re: My mother and my best friend. Oh, what to do. :/ - May 11th 2009, 10:42 PM

Hi Emma-Marie,

I think you should give your friend a chance to cool down. The argument she had with your mom was not your fault, and you had to go with her when your mom said she was leaving. You couldn't just say no to your mom, no matter how bad the argument was.

The next chance you can see your friend, just try to explain that you aren't taking sides and that you don't agree with what went on. Just let her know that you had no choice but to go with your mom and that she's been really stressed lately, and if circumstances were different then it probably wouldn't have turned out that way.

Right now, just act normally around your other friends. You didn't do anything wrong, and they shouldn't be judging you about this.

Take care and stay strong
Nat.


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