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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Dregin Offline
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Angry My mother is very irritating! - January 13th 2009, 04:03 PM

I'm 19 years old and since I have been living with my mom and step dad(their not actually married or dating he's just my older brothers father and we stay with him) she has been very well irritating and mean and well I'm sick of it maybe it's just me but I think she's slightly emotionally abusive.

We have been staying in this house for at least 10 plus years and there have been numerous situations with her that have irritated me to an extreme extent. When i was twelve or thirteen i arrived home from school and i come upstairs and she's sitting on her bed holding a baseball bat talking about i took her money which was about thirty dollars. I never took any money from my mother never have never will but she claimed i took it and i spent it on my friends and bought them food and candy all sorts of crazy stuff and she is like really close and brandishing the bat in my face cursing at me and threatening to hit me, I got really scared broke down and started to cry eventually started to curse her out.

To this day she never said that I did not take it she never found it and she says that she did not have the bat in her hand when I came in and she only picked it up after i started to curse her out, now why would i curse at her and be crying if she did not even threaten me?

We also share a bed room which is really stressful i have no privacy she hears all my phone calls and i have to share a tv with her, imagine being 19 and sharing a room with your 50 year old mother. She recently got some social security money(she's recovering from a stroke she is able to take care of herself though) and she is trying to move out now and she wants to move near this complex which is not in a very good part of town granted the part of town were in now is not any good but i'm used to it and i know the people around here.

My girlfriend stays a few blocks from me and thats great and i like being near her. I told my mom I'm not moving in with her and I want to stay here with my step father and work things out by myself. She just went off saying I don't care about her and only reason I'm staying is because i would be farther from my girlfriend which one of the reasons but not the main one my gf would support me no matter where i was but i refuse to move in with my mother because she blames everyone around her except for herself for her problems, she is passive agressive, anything that breaks in the new apartment will be my fault, and she smokes.

I'm tired of living with my mom, point blank. I love her she got me away from my abusive father but she is emotionally abusive i feel she insults me she at one point kept questioning my sexuality because i didn't have a girlfriend and i was only 15. I have breakdowns everytime i aruge with her all i can do is cry and yell and my chest tightens up and i just feel the need to hit something. It only happens with her and I'm tired of it, I just needed to vent.
   
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Re: My mother is very irritating! - January 14th 2009, 11:05 PM

Hey Steve,

I listened to/read your vent. I can't imagine how stressful and difficult that must be for you. If venting is really all you need, you know that the forums and, more specifically, my PM box are always open to you, right? I've got a quick suggestion, though, if you'd like to hear it.

If you're in college, it's really likely that your college has mental health services for free for students. Check 'em out. Go in there, tell them about your mom. They can give you strategies for dealing with your mom and they might be able to point her in the direction of some free or low-cost mental health care for herself. You mentioned you had an abusive father, so I'm guessing he abused your mother, too. A counsellor might not be a bad idea for her, either. It could also help her realize that it's normal and healthy for a 19-year-old to want to move out of his mother's house.

Hope you feel better. And seriously, you can PM me any time.
--Evee


--EV--
Congrats Canada's Juniors! 5 in a row!
Last Sunday morning, the sunshine felt like rain.
Week before, they all seemed the same.
And oh, I ain't wastin' time no more
Cause time goes by like hurricanes, and faster things.
--The Allman Brothers Band


Things seem impossible until you start to do them.

PM me anytime. I love to talk. :]
   
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