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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
FryGirl Offline
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They're my family too. - August 2nd 2015, 07:18 PM

I'm eleven and I have two sisters who are much older. They both left home by the time I was five. I don't feel like explaining why, it just is. So I don't have much family, and that means that when I do get a chance to be with family, I get really excited. And that makes people hate me.

My parents and I went to visit family in another state for the Fourth of July. We went to these people once before when I was six. I had a good time then, but that time there were other kids. This time I was the only kid, and everyone hated me. And I don't know why. I went in with a good attitude. I was all excited and happy to be with family, and everyone acted like I was out of line just for being there. Seriously, I can list the times people talked to me at all.

1. When we first got there, some people were talking about baseball, and I wanted to join in. one of my dad's cousins said "Here, read this book." I looked at it and it was the same book I read the last time I was there. So I said "Why do I have to read this, I read it last time I was here." He said "Then just go in the other room." I went in the other room where some other people were and they didn't look at me or talk to me at all. Not even hello.

2. My dad and some other guys, one of them was my dad's uncle, were talking about going fishing. The uncle, who I've only seen a few times, turns to me and says, "Do you want to come with us? Go fishing?" I got really excited, because it would have been the first time since we got there that anyone included me in anything. He says I'd have to get up real early, and we'd have to go someplace to get bait, and he'd have to find a fishing rod for me, and I said yes to everything. Then he busted out laughing and said "I'm pulling your leg!" And I didn't know what that meant, and he said it was a joke, I couldn't go fishing with them. My dad was sitting there the whole time and he didn't say a word. I didn't either. I guess it was his way of saying "get out of here," but I didn't think it was very funny. I also didn't see why it would be a joke. Then later that night, I was going to brush my teeth, and the uncle comes up to me again and says, "Hey, you want to go fishing for real?" I thought, maybe he's trying to apologize because that wasn't a very funny joke. I said sure, and he laughed even louder than before and said "Nah, I'm pulling your leg again!" I felt like crying, but I went into the bathroom and slammed the door. Then the woman whose house it was slammed it open again and went off on me. Who did I think I was, respect other people's property, I was so spoiled, and and and.

3. My mom and I went with some other women to stores to get stuff for the Fourth. The shopping center had a Five Guys, and my mom asked me if I wanted to eat there and I said yes. I hadn't finished my fries when she said we had to leave, so I got a bag for them, and when we got back in the car, one woman said "You have a really nice mother!" Now, I knew she didn't like my mom, so I didn't answer, and she said "Takes you everywhere with her...buys you anything you want...You're really lucky!" I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything. If I got everything I wanted, I wouldn't have been there. My mom heard this, and she didn't say anything either, but back at the house, I said "What does she mean? You don't buy me everything I want." Mom said "She thinks I spoil you." And after that, she started ignoring me even harder, I guess to prove she wasn't spoiling me.

4. On the Fourth, I was sitting in a lawn chair, and one of my dad's cousins was standing near me and spitting. Some of it was splattering on me, and I said, "Hey, do you mind?" He said, "What's your problem?" I said "I don't like people spitting right next to me." He said, "Well isn't that just too bad about you" and spit again and it almost hit me for real. So I got up and moved. My mom was sitting right there and didn't say anything. I really wanted to go off on him, but look what happened when I slammed a door.

5. I did go off on someone, sort of. One guy had a camper and wanted to show it to everyone, and when we left, he closed and locked the door when I was still inside. I banged on the door, and when he unlocked it, I said "Couldn't you see me in there?!" Yes, I was kind of loud. I was also kind of hurt. I didn't know I was invisible for real. My mom made me apologize, but he didn't apologize for locking me in.

6. Then it started raining, and everyone had to go inside. There were more people that day, more people who wouldn't talk to me. There was a piano in the living room, and no one was near it, so I found some sheet music and started playing. After a few minutes my mom stomped over to me and said, "You know, if you play the piano for too long at a time, people get the idea that you're *banging* on the piano." And spun around before I could answer. I went after her and said "Then what should I do?" And she said "Find something to do." Which is one of the very few things anyone said to me the whole time. Last year when it was my mom's birthday, a lot of her family came to our house for a party. My aunt brought her guitar and my mom played the piano and they had what my aunt called a hootenanny. I guess its okay if grownups do it.

7. And when we first got there, my dad said "Dan and Emily have a pool table you can use." On Saturday, he said, "Monday we're going to Dan and Emily's and they have a pool table." On Sunday he said "Tomorrow we're going to Dan and Emily's and they have pool table." So on Monday we go and they don't have the pool table anymore, they sold it. So I cried, a little, and I know how that must have looked, but for days, I'd had nothing to do. Well, except one other house we went to, I was told to go to the basement and Find Something To Do, so I found a basketball and started bouncing it. I just knew someone was going to yell "That's enough!" so I timed it and it was a little over three minutes.

8. There was one girl who was 19, somebody's daughter, and she was only there for the Fourth. When she said she wanted to talk to me, I was dumb enough to think she meant it in a friendly way. Instead she started lecturing me about what a problem I was. I stopped listening after a while, but one of the things she said was "You can't be the center of attention the whole time." Well, I never wanted to be, I wasn't trying to be. I kept hoping she'd end by saying, "Now let's go for a walk/play a game/watch a movie," but all she said was "Now are you going to think about that?" and left. She was chewing gum the whole time, too.

And that was it. Except for people telling me "Shut up" and "Go in the other room" and "Find something to do". And by the end they weren't even saying that, they just didn't answer me or look at me. Completely blanked me. I could watch tv if someone didn't come in and say "TV rots your brain, go play outside." I could read a book if someone would let me, but most people wouldn't because I wasn't supposed to touch their stuff, not even a book. I didn't bring anything like an art project because I didn't know I had to. I thought I was going to be with family.

My friend said when I told her "Well some people think kids are kids and grownups are grownups." but I wasn't asking to talk about property taxes and stuff with them. I didn't even ask to go on the fishing trip. Even if I am a kid, I'm still family. And especially when people say you have so much to learn from older people. I'd love to hear anything they have to tell me, but they don't talk to me. I think some people thought I was spoiled because they thought I was getting a free vacation. But I don't think spending eight days Finding Something To Do is a vacation. And they also think I'm spoiled and get everything I want because I don't have brothers and sisters living with me. I'd give anything to have that. And if it's so bad for me to be by myself all the time. why did they force me to be by myself all the time? They're my family too, why can't I talk to them?
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Re: They're my family too. - August 2nd 2015, 09:59 PM

Your actions to adults could seem disrespectful even if you don't mean them to be. He probably didn't mean to spit on you, and even if you were freaked out about being in the trailer, banging on it can also seem disrespectful. Try to see how if someone said that to you with the same attitude, you'd get angry like they probably did. Now, that being said, I understand that them saying you need to find something to do is ridiculous. It was probably boring and disappointing since you wanted to be with the adults. As a kid I always wanted to be around the adults because the kids were too immature for me, but the adults don't always want you around because they see you as younger, which you are. I am sorry it sucked and I don't have much advice but I understand how you felt because I was exactly like that at 10-12. Talk to your parents and see if they can understand where you are coming from and also listen to their view as well, you might gain a new perspective. Let me know if you need to talk

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Re: They're my family too. - August 4th 2015, 10:22 PM

Hey there,

When people have it in their head that someone is spoiled it can effect the way they treat that person. All the people you were around felt that you were spoiled and because they felt that way they probably thought you needed a lesson on not being spoiled.

I honestly think you should talk to your parents about how this bothered you and see what they have to say. I know that might be a tough conversation to have but at the end of the day the only way you can work through things is if you talk about it and try and work on coming up with a solution.

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Re: They're my family too. - August 5th 2015, 10:45 PM

I agree with the folks above in that you should probably try to speak with your parents and tell them how you feel. Unfortunately, many adults view kids in a certain way and don't believe they are capable of having mature discussions or doing certain things. I'm sorry you had such a disappointing vacation and it sounds as if much of what was said and done to you was wrong. Best wishes.
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Re: They're my family too. - August 6th 2015, 03:28 PM

Hi, everybody. I thought this board was down forever. I did try talking to my parents, a few days after we got back. I asked my dad why they took me there and then acted like I had no right to be there. He said "Because we couldn't leave you at home by yourself." I said "That wasn't my question. Why did you act like I had no right to be there?" He said "You weren't supposed to be there. They told us not to bring you, but we had to, and you didn't hold up your end of the deal." And then he walked away, and when he walks away there's no point following. Then I asked my mom, and she blew up and said she didn't want to go either, she hates my dad's family, she had better things to do and and and. Except she looked like she was having a good time, she was talking to people and playing cards and drinking.

But I was thinking about what Daggers said about wanting to be with adults. I would so much rather be with people my own age, but at the same time I wasn't going to say "ew, old people, I don't want to hang out with old people." I was trying to make the best of it, but they didn't want me to, so I was thinking, next time, I could stay with a friend of mine, or a friend of my parents, or with the one girl in the family who is close to my age. So I told this to my mom, and she went and got a chair and slammed it down and said, "Okay, chair of wisdom. You sit here and tell me why you think you deserve a special vacation." Chair of wisdom is when I ask for something, or try to explain something, and she stands and says nothing except "sorry, no" or "sorry, you have to." So I walked away.

Thank you all for listening and replying. I don't think there's a solution to this, I just wanted to vent. And Daggers, I know these people, and even if he wasn't using me as a target for his spitting, he sure didn't care if it bothered me.But if I did one thing that bothered someone else, that was proof that I was a spoiled brat. I think they really wanted me to get the hint and leave, and I would if I could.
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