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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Why is my friend making such a big deal about my choices???? - September 23rd 2015, 12:09 PM

Ok, so being blunt, I'm borderline failing 11th grade, and if I do, I either repeat or goo into TAFE or workforce or something.
It's been like this most of the year, and it's not too big of a deal to me.
But for some godforsaken reason, one of my friends makes a big deal about it. Me and most my mates don't give it a second thought, but she's always going on about it whenever I fail a test or assignment.
She says it's because she doesn't want to see her friend failing and all that, which I sorta understand, but it frustrates me because the way I see it is, she is passing, that's all that should matter for her, not how I'm doing because I can't be assed.

What do you guys think about her actions, cause I'm lost as to why she telling me all the stuff I already know about my probs failing and all that.

Thanks,
GB13
   
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Re: Why is my friend making such a big deal about my choices???? - September 24th 2015, 11:26 AM

I do think that it is probably that she cares about you. I know that SHE is passing, but sometimes when people really care about someone, they root for them and want to see them doing the best they can in life and going as far as they can in life. She is probably worried about you and doesn't want to see you fail and doesn't want to see you face the consequences of that because she wants to see you happy and successful. She probably knows that you've heard it before but wants to get through to you and thinks maybe she can offer you a reminder or motivation.

That being said, if it is upsetting you or frustrating you, I'd pull her aside. Talk to her politely about the situation and let her know that you appreciate that she cares about you, but you have made the choice and this is something that you have accepted. Let her know that you would like it if she wouldn't worry as much, because you have already made the choice. Again, be polite and respectful but let her know how you feel.

I won't go on about you failing since that is not what you asked, but if you ever do change your mind and want advice I'm happy to help with that as well.


   
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Re: Why is my friend making such a big deal about my choices???? - September 27th 2015, 06:47 AM

I agree with Dez.

I think part of the reason is because she wants you to pass your assignments and tests.

I would talk to her and let her know that you do understand what she is saying and you do appreciate that she does care, but let her know that it frustrates you a little bit.

I hope I helped.


   
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Re: Why is my friend making such a big deal about my choices???? - September 27th 2015, 07:51 AM

When you've been going about things in your own ways, it can be frustrating when people around you make a big deal out of what has become normal for you. The thing is, while it could understandably be frustrating to you, I believe that upsetting you isn't your friend's intention. Honestly, it sounds like she simply cares for you and wants the best for you which means seeing you pass as well. It can be concerning to see people around us we care for seemingly struggle with something so she's probably just wanting to help you and encourage you rather than cause problems.

I am not sure if it's something you'd consider or if she would, but would both of you be open to sort of helping each other out? Perhaps she could help you with some of your schoolwork. Just a suggestion! If not, then it might be a good idea to kindly reassure her that you really appreciate her caring for you and looking out for you. Let her know she's a good friend and you're happy for her but that you've come to terms with this and would like if she wouldn't worry about it too much. Keep in mind that's easier said than done though. After all, she is your friend. She's going to worry for your well-being!

On the subject of failing, I know that isn't what you wanted advice on but you're welcome to talk more about that. I was wondering if you're struggling with life or are just too overwhelmed with school and that's what's causing you to fail? Either way, you're welcome to reach out if you wish.
   
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