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InvisibleBeaver5
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Name: John
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Location: Planet Earth

Posts: 13
Join Date: October 1st 2015

Mom and sis always fighting... - October 14th 2015, 12:10 AM

So I don't know what my profile says, but I'll start basic
Hi
I'm John, 14, freshman in high school.
Ok moving on.
I have an 11 year old sister, who practically begs for attention.
She is always fighting with my mother... She gets upset for some stupid reason, then my mom tells her to stop or something, or deal with it, because it's some small thing like 'I wanted this for dinner! Not that!' 'I'll do this, not that' etc.
Then my sister yells back
And they start yelling and my sister starts crying, it gets really loud.
I usually pop in my earbuds and let music drown out the yelling.
Everyone seems to forget about me when they're fighting. I'm always caught in the crossfire.
It's been getting to me more and more every time it happens. Which is almost daily. AC/DC can only solve so many problems.
I feel like my sister gets all the attention, one way or another. My mon just tells me to go play Xbox while they fight. Xbox is also an escape fron the violence for me.
So they'll be going at eachother's throats for about an hour, then my sister breaks down and says sorry over and over again. Thry sit in my sisters room and my mom talks and she cries.
And repeat the next day.
Is there any way to stop the fighting?
   
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DeletedAccount11
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Re: Mom and sis always fighting... - October 14th 2015, 10:50 PM

Hey, John.

Being around your mom and your sister fighting so often must be rather upsetting. I'm sorry this is happening.

While I am not sure of what causes all of these fights, from the one that you mentioned it sounds as your sister isn't well-behaved and acts out when she doesn't get what she wants. She is a child so that's common. Has your mother tried disciplining her in any sort of way? Hopefully if she learns that acting out won't allow her to get her way, it will reduce some of these arguments.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your sister is also 11. She is getting closer to her teenage years and she could very well be already experiencing hormones which can certainly cause mood swings. That may be why she gets upset over small things and fights with your mother over them. Maybe you and your mom could educate her on better ways to handle her feelings such as talking rather than yelling. If your mom has better responses to her when your sister expresses her feelings in a calm way, it could let your sister realize that a better outcome will occur from being respectful and nice to your mom.

Does she have calming distractions to go to when she is feeling upset? Coloring, drawing, writing and crafts could all be a fun thing for her to do while she calms down along with allowing her to express herself. This could be like a time-out method. I don't agree with her acting out over everything and yelling but I do think it's important that she has outlets so that she doesn't bottle up all of her feelings and frustrations. That will only make the situation worse.

As for you, you might could go for a walk or watch funny videos on YouTube with earphones to cheer yourself up. Playing video games, listening to different music and occupying yourself with hobbies could help you feel more relaxed. Talking to your mom about this could be beneficial as well. You could let her know that you understand she must be stressed out from figuring out how to handle your sister's behavior but you are also having a hard time coping too because you feel as you're caught in the middle. It's okay and healthy to talk about your feelings as long as it's in a calm, respectful way!

Hope this helped and I also hope things improve between your mom and sister. I wish you the best of luck.
   
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