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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Relationship with younger cousin - October 14th 2015, 04:01 PM

My cousin is 14 and we've never been close because we live in totally different provinces and, most likely, because I am 10 years older than her. She's only had things like a cell phone for about 2 years and things like Facebook or Instagram for a year or even year and a half, maybe less for Instagram.

That said, I'd really like to get to know her better and have a better relationship with her. The thing is that I don't really know what she'll give a crap about talking about - I feel like asking her how school is going or how she's liking a certain sport, but I feel like those are such adult questions to ask someone. At the same time, I'm not just going to start prying about her boyfriends (or lack there of) or asking her where she likes to shop, cause... weird... lol.

I've tried a few times to connect with her and it hasn't really gotten anywhere. Considering we've never been close, I am not sure it it'd be weird to want to FaceTime even in order to get closer

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Re: Relationship with younger cousin - October 15th 2015, 07:13 PM

It's nice of you to want to develop a relationship with her. You said you've tried to do a few things to connect and they weren't successful. What have you tried? My younger cousin is thirteen and I kind of let her lead the conversation. She's usually happy to talk about her friends, her classes, and her boyfriend. She's always happy to tell me about the funny moments she has with her friends. She also looks up to me and asks me some questions here and there.

How long has it been since you've talked to your cousin? Maybe you can tell her you've been thinking about her and you're wondering how she's doing. You could ask her about her friends or anything else she's interested in. Do you know what she likes? If so, maybe you can kind of explore her hobbies so you have something to talk about. My cousin and I like certain music and that's one thing you two can discuss. Maybe you can talk about different YouTubers if she is active on there. You said you live in different states, do you have her address? Maybe you can send her a thinking of you card or something like that.


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Re: Relationship with younger cousin - October 15th 2015, 10:11 PM

That's really nice that you want to be closer to your younger cousin. After all, she is family and it's nice to be close.

What about asking her about her interests? Her music interests, what TV shows/movies she likes to watch and what hobbies she's interested in. Sometimes letting her talk about herself can help you find things you may have in common with her. Who knows, maybe you two have similar music tastes or like some of the same hobbies.

Do you know if you both have an interest in something you can do together over the internet? For example; online gaming. If both of you are interested in video games, perhaps you could find a game both of you like and play it together? Other than long-distance, do you know if she will be coming up to where you live anytime soon? Anytime she visits, maybe you could plan something for both of you to do. Such as going to a place to eat and then to a movie. Just an idea!

Calico has a good idea as well about telling her you had been wondering how she's been doing and ask her how she is along with how things are going for her lately. Ask her how she's doing every now and then and listen, ask her questions etc. I'm sure that after getting to know her and talking to her a bit, you'll find that you two have a few things in common along with her potentially even talking to you about things upon becoming closer with you.

Hope you are able to form a closer relationship with your cousin. Best of luck with things!
   
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