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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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molly691 Offline
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Name: li
Age: 18
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I don't know what to do - November 8th 2015, 11:27 PM

So my mum came into my room earlier and told me that my dad had rang. I was shocked because we haven't heard from him in about 4 years. She said that he had asked how I was and that he wanted to meet up with me and I don't know what to do.

He has constantly been in and out of my life since I was 4/5 years old and I don't know whether it would be right to give him another chance. However, since I haven't actually had a male figure in my life for so long and I've always longed to have one, a part of me really wants to go and meet up with him and give him that chance. But even if I did want that, I'd be too scared to do it on my own but my mum won't go with me because she strongly dislikes my dad.


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Re: I don't know what to do - November 8th 2015, 11:59 PM

Hey there.

That's intense, Molly. I'm sorry you have only seen your father off and on. I can understand how that'd cause you to be hesitant towards giving him another chance. Which is why it is entirely your choice. Having your mom come along could be comforting to you but it may prevent you from feeling as you can be completely open with your dad. If you know you'd feel more comfortable with her there then it'd be best to talk to her about it again letting her know you'd appreciate it a lot if she'd do this for you.

Honestly, my thoughts are that you only get one mom and one dad. Your dad seems to care for you but I don't agree with how he is hurting you by suddenly dropping out of your life. However, even parents can make big mistakes and mess up more than once so I believe it'd be worth giving him another chance as long as you're cautious until you're sure he plans to stick around. Along with that, plan what you want to ask and say to him beforehand. I suggest asking him what he wants out of meeting with you because you have been hurt several times when he drops in and out of your life. Ask him if he'd be willing to change those ways and develop a father-daughter relationship that's here to stay. Let him know you'd greatly value becoming close to him and ask if he's willing to stay.

Remember that it's up to you. The situation sounds hurtful and confusing but I'd hate for you to miss out on a relationship with your dad but at the same time I don't want you to get hurt over and over. Maybe your dad needs your guidance and words put bluntly before he realized he has to stick around to truly be a father to you.

You deserve to have a strong relationship with your dad so my opinion is to give it at least one more try. I don't know how it might turn out but it's worth it just to see. Don't be afraid to let him know what you want and ask if he can follow through. I hope you do what's best for you and have no regrets.

Don't be afraid to reach out for support through this and PM me if you need someone to talk to. Stay strong, Molly!
   
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