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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 3rd 2015, 08:53 PM

Hi

I'll probably want to meet girls and make more friends this year as I only have one but he likes to go clubbing and drinking which isn't my thing I'm not asking how can I came him do other things with me it's more a question as to how else can you meet people these days. I'm not talking about classes or social groups and stuff I'm more aiming towards going out at night and stuff I do enjoy going to bars and stuff just not clubbing I just don't suit it. Am I the only 19 year old who feels this way I certainly do feel like it. I'm English by the way if it helps!
   
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Re: Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 4th 2015, 04:49 PM

Hey Justin,

You're definitely not alone with this. I'm 20, but I've never once been into clubbing either, so I get how difficult that is for you. Do you work at all? I found that by getting a part time job, you can really meet friends quite easily. Even people who aren't your usual type of friend quickly can become someone you really want to spend some time with. For example, at my work place, there are quizzes or pool nights every week which people have the option to attend in the local area. Even if some of them are more into clubbing than others, you can find a nice compromise by maybe going out for a drink (it doesn't have to be alcoholic to enjoy!) and then those who wish to go clubbing/continue drinking can, whilst others, like yourself, can move on with the night and do other things.

Otherwise, maybe try seeing if your friend might want to do some other things with you some time! See if he has any other friends who want to tag along and you could go bowling, see a film, or even just get away for the day and see something new. Many of my close friends have come from meeting them through other close friends.

Just a couple of options for you there, but I mainly wanted to let you know that you're definitely not the only person who feels this way. Clubbing and drinking really aren't for everyone and as you grow older and go into the world of work, you'll find that a lot of other people vary in what they like to do too. There's no shame in it at all, and I hope that you find a happy compromise.


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Re: Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 4th 2015, 05:24 PM

Go to a club

Like, a club of something you're interested in like tabletop gaming, knitting or even swinging

Actually, you should probably avoid going to swingers club...
   
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Re: Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 4th 2015, 09:12 PM

You definitely are not the only one. I'm 22 and i've only been in a club once and realiced that it's just not the thing for me.

What you can do to meet people is to join clubs for things you like, like swiming, bowling, painting or whatever it is you like. Also there are more meet ups out there than you probabyl ralice, at least if you live close to a town. Like, loose meet ups of people who like the same thing, like conventions but more casual and normal and a lot smaller. It just takes a lot of time to find them, but if you sk around you might get some information on them.
Also as already mentioned you can meet people at work, even volluntere work if it's your thing.
For things you can do in the evening... well, a friend of mine is having play nights on regular basis. She meets up with friends to play board games and watch movies and stuff. You could see if you have a friend who does that to and ask if you can join. It's a great way of meeting new people and through them you can meet even more great people and you won't have that awkward point where you try to figure out how to approach them. Thats kinda the way I meet new people.


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

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Re: Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 5th 2015, 12:52 PM

That was pretty much the story of my life. I hated going to clubs. I live in Canada so our drinking age is 18-19 so most of my university career all people wanted to do was go to clubs. And far to many of the guys there would turn into total pigs and would grab my ass and expect to be allowed to practically grind their junk on me without so much as a "how do you do?" And I found it so demeaning but when I complained to the friends I went with the most all I got was "that's just how clubs are" like NO you can't just touch another person in a sexual way without consent and act like it's ok and most other guys a respectable enough to know that's not ok to behave like that so I stopped going cause I'd just feel livid and knew someone was going to get slapped by me if I went and I didn't like that other women were willing to put up with degrading treatment by men. Clubs should be fun; drinking and dancing and good music can all be good things, even if it isn't my thing, and it's to bad that my bad experiences shut it down quicker than it did for my friends.

Any how, my point is I started doing other stuff to compensate, so I went to various fitness things like martial arts classes and I volunteered and slowly met more people that way. Joining a club or volunteering opportunity on campus can make a big difference because then you're with other students who like the same things that you like. I found that when I did things off campus it was easy to meet people but harder to make a long-lasting friendship (still possible though and I loved having a few relationships that didn't come with the same school). I joined one school club and was heavily involved as a club leader and I met a lot of friends that way, which was great; plus the club leaders get close and we also got close to lots of the general members, and from there we'd all hangout and I met even more people that way. I find that the higher in years you go the more people diversify their interests so they'll be more inclined to be happy to play board games or watch movies instead of getting drunk.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Meeting people with out going to clubs - December 6th 2015, 06:27 PM

Night clubs never suited me much either. I can't dance, I just stomp about, and all the seats are always taken. And I genuinely hate people crammed together pushing and waiting for drinks for 30 minutes.

But those are just night clubs. There are plenty of other "clubs".


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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