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Making new friends? - December 16th 2015, 04:23 AM

Next year will be my second year in secondary school and I only have 4 friends in school. Thing is, I feel rather suffocated around them and I feel as if they're controlling me. We're somewhat outcasted because we don't really bother to make new friends and I've always felt outcasted among my friends.I guess you could say that I'm the black sheep among my friends. I want to make new friends in school to expand my circle of friends (and perhaps to get rid of my current friends... I know I'm horrible like that but I won't stop talking to them completely) but I'm a really shy kid. I also want new friends so that I can have company during extra curricular activities (my current friends are too... lazy(?) to do said activities. I'm trying to be more active in school. So, well... how do I make new friends?

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Re: Making new friends? - December 16th 2015, 09:00 PM

You said you wanted to make new friends to have company during extra curricular activities, and you might be able to make new friends at those activities because of your shared interests. You could also consider volunteering if you haven't already. Your school or other places in the community might allow volunteering and that's a good way to make new friends. I also think being friendly to everyone in general can help, too. Maybe consider smiling or waving to people you pass in the hallways.

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Re: Making new friends? - December 16th 2015, 10:53 PM

Hi there.

Do you feel like talking about how your friends seem to be controlling? If you feel your current friends are controlling you, have you approached them about why? It's okay to voice how you feel about actions/words from them if they make you feel a certain way. Communication doesn't always solve the issues at hand, but a lot of the times it can improve things because hopefully your friends will be more considerate of how their words and actions may make you feel, you know?

Cassado made a good point. While doing the activities you'd like to do, there's a good chance you'll develop new friendships due to having a shared interest and you can talk to them from there. You may could make new friends at lunch by asking others if it's okay to sit with them. I know that might be difficult since you mentioned you are shy, though. Involving yourself in school activities such as school clubs, sports or extra classes can allow you to find others with common interests.

Wishing you the best of luck in making friends! Take care.
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