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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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RadioSerenade Offline
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I Need a Katie. - December 17th 2015, 07:50 AM

I have been meaning to write this thread for a long time and now, finally, the conditions have come together, the stars have aligned and the makings have been demonstrated for some fairly hard-core contemplation, although the light in this room is flickering, so please be warned about the potential for some demonstration of rage in this thread. I enter a caveat. I fundamentally apologise to any users named Katie and trust you will not take this thread too personally.

Basically, I need a Katie.

So I have these imaginations, these daydreams if you will. I use them as ways to determine how I will respond to certain issues and situations and playing these scenarios out in my head. I just realised I am probably well served using these as writing tools but regardless, they happen. Many of these scenarios involve a girl named Katie, and she plays the role of a friend and mentor, so I technically have an imaginary friend. Katie is much tougher than I am in these scenarios and basically acts as my wingwoman when I have whatever issues I have, injuries, weight loss, whatever the case may be. However, the problem is, I do not have a wingwoman. I love being alone but increasingly, I have found an allure to the idea of having someone else in life. Not necessarily a group of people, but, rather paradoxically, someone who loves being alone with you and shares your hatred of the requirement of social interaction. However, I have found myself wondering, how does that actually happen? I know how you ask someone out on a date to propose a romantic relationship but in my experiences, friendships happen suddenly, before you know it, you’re cruising around with the person.

I suppose on the internet it is much easier, I mean I can just quote something from my favourite book and follow that with the word “Haii” and I have made my move immediately but that is just not something that happens in real life. I have told people that the way to find friends is to find people who share the same passion as you and then surround yourself with that environment, so social groups and bookstores and such, but the main limitation with that is that you tend to make groups of friends in that scenario as well and the situation that I am imagining myself benefiting from is the single mentorship of someone else, one very special person, but a relationship that does not have the same connotations of romanticism. Is that even healthy?

I suppose part of the issue is deficiency as well, I mean I have been alone ever since I left school in 2012 and have sincerely enjoyed it since then, I mean my life has not been a devastation, but I have never had any friends. I mean I have had online friends and people I have been asked to work with in academic contexts, such as for assignments, but I have never had someone that is constant throughout the year and throughout my life. I mean please don’t get me wrong, I am like that guy that you see during Trials for the school sports team, you wonder whether they are any good and they sort of remain quiet and such but throw them the ball and they become Jesus, I mean I can perform in a social environment very well if you ask me to, but that is not a choice I have ever made.

I am like a hermit crab that remains in its shell and then when it needs to leave, hires a Leonic stunt double (I made a word!) However, only now does he realise he has some room in his heart for another stunt double, someone who guides and gets guidance from a person named Katie.

P.S. Do hermit crabs have hearts? .


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Re: I Need a Katie. - December 20th 2015, 02:05 AM

I think that can happen. I also enjoy being alone and I have enjoyed it more since I left school. I don't have many friends offline but I do have a few I've kept in contact with over the years. I do think it is possible to have a friendship with someone that likes being alone as much as you do. For instance, my mom and I are close but we enjoy our own time. We can be in the same room together and spend time together without really talking. We'll read silently or watch a movie or the like.

I don't think it's weird to want that and I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy, either. From what you've said, you don't struggle socially and you aren't doing anything unhealthy when you're alone so I don't see it as unhealthy. I think the friendship you're looking for might come to you on its own. Sometimes what you're looking for comes to you when you stop looking for it.


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Re: I Need a Katie. - December 25th 2015, 08:46 AM

Hello!

I think that what you're searching for is a friend who can share some peaceful times with you and support you during dark hours, and also enjoy your company as much as you enjoy his or hers. For this sort of friend, it might be better if you went for a club like a chess club or a book club. People from these clubs tend to appreciate quiet ,happy times more and might just end up getting you to know just the person you're looking for. Most of all, i think you'll have no problems. You seem like a nice, fun person to be with and you're going to be a blessing to whoever gets to know you.

Most of all, the more opportunities you get, the more chances you should take Things will work out, and I want you to be happy. If you need a friend or just someone to rant to, talk to me!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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