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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LightLili Offline
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Question No friends and ok with it - December 20th 2015, 07:21 PM

I haven't actually had friends for over 3 years now. I'm in no way lonely, though. I'm content just being in my own mind all the time, or talking to my family every once in a while.
My problem is that I don't know if that's normal. Sometimes I feel like it might be wrong to be perfectly happy with being a total introverted loner. I also get some comments from my family and people at school, because they really don't understand how I can choose to stay this way and never be depressed about it.
So I want to know if anyone thinks this is normal or if I should try and actually make friends because it's wrong to just want to be alone all the time.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 20th 2015, 09:04 PM

Im very proud of you to be content with the amount of friends you have! I'd love to be that way! In all honesty, by my opinion, I think it's 'off' to not be content with having little friends, since it's based off of self confidence. So in that context, that means you have very much self confidence which is something to be proud of! Of course you can make more friends, but dont feel pressured to do so. By my opinion, society makes you think it's normal to have a bunch of friends, but that is not the reality. Be happy with yourself! XXX

the girl who always seemed unbreakble finally
the girl who seemed strong
the girl who always laughed
the girl who never stopped trying finally

she let her fake smile fade and as she did a tear rolled down her cheek and she whispered

' i can't do this anymore'
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 20th 2015, 10:26 PM

Hey there.

There's nothing wrong with not having any friends. Are you truly content and happy with not having any friends, and not isolating yourself because you feel depressed? If so, that's wonderful. Having the ability to be happy on your own is an important part of independence so that you don't find yourself relying on other people for your happiness.

From here on, how about focusing on family relationships and becoming closer with your family? Even if you don't have any friends, having support and being open about how you feel and what's on your mind is still important in my opinion. When you don't have friends around to talk to, and are happy being on your own, you may find yourself beginning to bottle up your feelings which can be harmful to you. Plus, socializing to some extent and building relationships with those around you is healthy. Are you able to open up to your family and express your thoughts and feelings via creative hobbies or journaling?

As long as you're happy, there's nothing wrong with not having any friends. Other people may find it weird because in a lot of people's views, you should have a few friends. The thing is, you should develop friendships when you feel it'll fit into your life and there's people you truly want to build friendships with. A lot of people find themselves in toxic friendships and such, and that's why it might be best to wait until you stumble upon a nice person whom you enjoy the company of, you know? Rather than making friends just to have friends.
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 20th 2015, 10:35 PM

Thanks guys
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 21st 2015, 06:06 PM

Hey there,

There's nothing wrong with being content with your own company. I am similar in that respect, I have friends don't get me wrong but I enjoy my own space and my own company. I like to go out on my own sometimes, it could be a café and listen to my favourite music and lose myself in a good book. If you are happy with your own company then that is a great thing and it's okay to be like that. Everyone is different and everyone enjoys a different amount of interaction, some like to be around people all the time and hate being on their own and some people enjoy being alone and there's nothing wrong with it, it doesn't make you weird or strange it makes you, you and it makes you individual and it's great you don't feel the need to conform to what everyone else does.

As long as you're happy that is all that matters.

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Deeds not words
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LightLili Offline
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 22nd 2015, 05:50 AM

I ran into a bit of a problem today. My mom confronted me about my "lonliness" and was saying things about how concerned she is for me because I'm always so alone. She got pretty upset, even after I told her over and over that I'm perfectly fine and never sad about my situation.
I'm kinda mad, but I of course feel bad for being angry at her when it's just motherly concern. But how am I supposed to convince her that I am seriously fine? She doesn't seem to believe me at all.
I have a feeling this will be coming up again in the next few days :/
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 22nd 2015, 08:27 PM

She is your mother which means worrying for you is her job! You're at an age where most people your age begin socializing and making friends more, which usually means pressure is put on you to do the same. She might be worried that you are depressed or having trouble making friends, and is upset to see you without people to spend time with. At the same time, I can also understand why it'd be frustrating on your end when someone is convinced you are upset when in reality you're perfectly fine, but they don't seem to acknowledge that fact.

Rather than waiting for her to bring it up, it might be best to sit down with her to talk about this. Reassure her that you've felt happy on your own lately, and just because a lot of people your age are making friends/have friends, it doesn't mean you have to. Clearly mention that you appreciate her caring about you to be concerned in the first place, but you don't have any sadness towards not having friends and you do not feel lonely.

Having your mom's support and concern can be great, so if you start feeling sad or lonely, don't be afraid to reach out to her, okay? You deserve to have her support if you go through a difficult time.
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Re: No friends and ok with it - December 25th 2015, 08:24 AM

Hello Lili

I think that one of the main reasons you find it okay not being friends with anyone is because people can be mean, and I do agree that really nice people at heart are hard to find. However, I think that your strength is true, and that you'll be rewarded with real, true friends in the future who won't betray you. It's better to have just a few friends you can trust rather than a whole wide world of acquaintances who don't really know you. It might be a blessing in disguise because you'll get to observe people , know who they are from another point of view and see them for who they really are. That will definitely help you to understand who you want to be with , and who you'll group up with in the future because there's no point being friends with people who take you for granted every single time.

I also think that it's okay being who you are as long as you're happy. But if you do feel like you wanna mix around, you can do that too. Just remember to do stuff that makes you happy, and enjoy being who you are... there's no greater blessing that the fact that you're able to appreciate yourself. I do agree that there's many things you can do... like reading, watching funny youtube videos and helping people out on here.. and it's the calming, happy activities that matter because they put you at ease and allow you to enjoy with no disturbance.

If you ever wanna rant or just want someone to talk to or a friend, I'll always be around. Rant to me anytime I'll always be around!

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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