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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 29th 2015, 10:56 AM

I'm going to make this short but I have been friends with this girl we grew up together knowing her since I was a little child. We don't see each other that much anymore which isn't nothing abnormal but we've still friends I would like to rebuild our friendship again but the thing is a few years or maybe one and half years ago we would have sex all the time even without protection and now it feels awkward. I don't want relationship with her neither does she it was just causal sex we did it loads but has it ruined our friendship?
   
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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 29th 2015, 12:56 PM

You need to sit down with her and talk about it. It's normal to feel uncomfortable and be worrying about your friendship. Ask her if she wants to be friends, you don't need to have a relationship with a woman and it doesn't need to be about sex if you want her in your life. Best of luck!
   
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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 29th 2015, 01:43 PM

I don't really want to talk to her about should I just get on with life and not mention it?
   
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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 29th 2015, 05:35 PM

You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too, it's just a recommendation, you ultimately have to do what is comfortable for you. Because I am an outsider, it's tough to say if it is the sex that is causing your friendship to drift, maybe it is, maybe it isn't; like maybe she sort of decided that having sex with a friend no longer made her comfortable (maybe she wanted to focus on finding a "real" romantic relationship and knew that you weren't the one that she wanted to find that with and didn't know how to tell you that and thus you guys drifted apart). If you still feel awkward about it, perhaps she does too and you guys just need to talk it out, but maybe if that's really not ok with you then maybe you could start off small with small talk ("hi, how are you?" and build up from there. If you begin replacing the old memories of sex (and the feelings of awkwardness associated with it) with new "purer" memories and hopefully that'll help to rebuild things.




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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 29th 2015, 06:30 PM

It's only going to be as awkward as the two of you make it.
Avoiding the situation wont make it go away. If you're worried about it being awkward then talk it out. If you both are fine managing without having that talk then continue to carry on.
It's really whatever is easier on you, and her.


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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 30th 2015, 11:43 AM

No, i think it's best to talk it out with her and have a heart to heart talk. Be completely honest, and show that you still value the friendship with her, and definitely tell her your feelings.

Like other people said, if you never try to patch things up.. then you might be missing out on a good friend. She might feel the same way too!


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You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - December 31st 2015, 02:19 AM

Hey,

We can't really determine if sex made things awkward for you. I mean, there are a number of friendships where sex ruined it. But, then there are friendships where that didn't make a big difference.

The only surefire way you are going to figure out if having sex made things awkward or ruined the friendship with her is if you ask her about it. If you don't want to outright ask her you could say something like "I've been wanting to hang out more and rekindle the friendship we had but I don't know if that is possible." If you start it that way she might just say "Of course it's possible" or "Why wouldn't it be possible?" Then you could talk to her about your thoughts on the manner.

I know talking about it will make it more uncomfortable. If you don't want to say that you could just randomly message her and see what happens. However, I know if it were me I'd want a general idea of what they were thinking and if they want to rekindle the friendship.

I hope that this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.


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Re: Can we still be friend or has sex ruined our friendship? - January 13th 2016, 01:24 PM

friendships and sex are impossible to exist together, you should remember that)
   
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