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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
oceaneyes95 Offline
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Name: Lillian (Lilli)
Age: 25
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Location: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

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Join Date: July 24th 2010

New year, and new beginnings! - December 31st 2015, 06:49 PM

I typed all of this once, then it got deleted. So, i'm starting over! Anyways, I just wanted to update anyone & everyone who has followed up on my threads! Last time I wrote a thread I was pregnant with my first baby, and living with my mom. My babyís name is Elijah (Eli for short). Eliís dad was in jail, and had just come to an agreement that when he was released he would sign over his parental rights. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Things have changed for the better! Long story short, we're married with another baby on the way! But, we struggled through a lot of hardships to get where we are today. In my last thread I had talked about moving to Iowa, and starting over after Eli was born. Well, that didn't happen either. After Eli was born my mom became super controlling. Basically, my living situation turned into a "Domestic Violence" case. Two months after Eli was born my mom quit her job to basically stay at home 24/7 to monitor me to make sure I wasn't planning to move away. I wasn't allowed to have a job. That meant I couldn't pay off the debt that I was in. I couldn't buy my own car which meant driving hers all the time. I couldn't have my own phone. I couldn't financially support Eli. Ultimately, it meant I couldn't move out. My mom was very abusive to Eli & I. She is believed to have Munchhausen Syndrome. See, Eli baby was born he had difficulties swallowing. The doctors told us he would grow out of it in time. They assured us there was nothing we could do, but wait. Well, my mom exaggerated it. She took him to countless doctors some in other states, and even convinced one to give him a feeding tube which made him dehydrated, and constipated. He had Colic, and eventually we found out he had Acid Reflex. But, he got medicine for the Acid Reflex, and it helped. She made me feed him laying on his side with ultra premie nipples at six months old. I also wasn't allowed to leave the house with him. My mom was paranoid I would leave, and not come back. I actually had to call 911 because one night she gave me one of two choices. I could either leave, and she would report me for abandonment, or I could stay. But, I was not allowed to leave with him. That was a rough night!! I stayed, and at three in the morning he woke up crying. I got in trouble for getting up to take care of him. It turned into a huge fight. At the time I was seeing a new boyfriend. We really didn't get along much, but his parents and I had talked about helping me out. I had already been sneaking out of the house for a few minutes at a time, or making excuses to leave so I could make calls to womens shelters, and open adoption agencies. I was determined to get out of there, and give Eli a better life. There was even a time my mom busted a glass ashtray out of anger while holding him. Another time my sister was yelling at me telling me I should've aborted him. "You should have killed him while you had the chance!" she screamed. March 19th, I remember that day well. I told my mom I had to pick some jewelry up from my boyfriends house because we broke up, and I wanted it back. I was texting him, and his mom all day. That was when I decided to move in with them. We arrived at their house with Eli illegally in the front passenger seat like always. I had been nervous, and on edge all day. My mom even noticed, and asked me if I was up to something. I quietly stuttered "No, not all!". I got out of the van, and walked inside to get my boyfriends parents. They both walked outside with me, and I got Eli, and what little things I brought with me. Note: I didnít get the chance to pack our things before moving out. I went inside while my mom was still yelling at them. I felt really bad that I drug them into my dysfunction. But, they wanted to help. So, I let them. They had Child Protective Services number on speed dial for me. My mom had already made threats to make false reports about me. So, I called ahead of time to let them know my side of the story. Before I knew it false reports came flooding in. They know it wasn't true, but had to do their job. I was cleared by Child Protective Services. Then, my mom sent police over for a well being check on Eli. they also knew the situation, but still had to do their job. Then, my mom went to another state, and lied to get an Emergency Order of Protection on Eli against me. Which she had no proof to get. The police came knocking on our door on a Sunday night. They said that had to take Eli, and give temporary custody to my mom until court because they had to serve the papers. But, Child Protective Services were in my favor, and wouldn't allow it to happen. But, I still had to go to court to prove I was a good mom. By this point Eliís dad was out of jail, and siding up with my mom like everyone else in my family. She even had people who were never even around me to be her witnesses in court to lie for her. Thankfully, it never got to the point of letting witnesses testify. I had court dates scheduled over & over again to get a restraining order against my mom. But, she hid out for months, and avoided getting served the papers. So, I didnít only have court in one state. But two. The first time I went to court for the Emergency Order of Protection I didnít have a lawyer, and she did. I was prepared to defend myself. But, I couldnít I froze up. I couldnít even speak. I stuttered. I was too quiet. I couldnít make eye contact. I was shaky. So, in that case a lawyer was appointed to me. It didnít mean the end, but it was something. We had kept all the doctors records stating that Eli was healthy. I had Child Protective Services, the police, and many other high authorities in my favor. The court dates just kept getting continued over & over. Thatís the difficult thing about going to court. Even if you know youíll win. Thereís always continuances. I got the restraining order against my mom granted. I canít really remember, but I think it may have been the next time I went back to court that Eliís dad came with me. At one point he was on my moms side, and the next we were working things out! We moved in together after a little while, then moved just recently moved into a bigger house. A guardian alitem was appointed to us. Which is a lawyer that represents the child. So, he wasnít on my moms side or my side either. He had to interrogate both of us. He did a phone interview, and from what I heard it was because he thought the case wasnít serious enough for a home vist. He was on my side thankfully. So, when he reported back to the judge it was all good news. My mom also petitioned for GAURDIANSHIP, AND GRANDPARENTS VISITATION RIGHTS. We were served paper at court for these two things. But, one again thankfully it worked out in my favor. Eliís dad & I got married, and found out that Iím pregnant again! Iím now twenty five weeks, and itís another boy! ALMOST A YEAR LATER THE CASE IS BEING DISSMISSED!! We also have to get a court order for my mom to cancel her health insurance on Eli. She hasnít yet for her own selfish reasons. Some say to be difficult. Others say to collect tax money on him. But, now looking back at it all I understand why my plans to move to Iowa failed. Even though I had it all planned out from start to finish. It just wasnít meant to be. It wasnít in Gods plan. Now Iím married to Eliís dad with another baby on the way. Living in a bigger house. Court is pretty well over. I have come a long way. I donít think Iíll ever be on speaking terms with my mom even after the restraining order is overwith. Let alone the rest of my family. But, itís a blessing in disguise. I can now move on into this new year with a better outlook on life! I wonít hold a bitter heart. I will forgive, but continue to hold boundaries. I will build a bridge & get over it! I am now planning to officially get my GED sometime after this new baby is born, or get a new job! Iím looking to find a new church to get involved in soon! Iím also looking to lose the baby weight after this new baby is born, and maybe start doing yoga! I have a lot going for me in life, and SO DO YOU! I wanted to follow up on my life with this website, and kind of update because I feel like it can help others! Look at my old threads, and how far Iíve come! You can do it too! Like I always say, stay positive & keep the faith!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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I've been here a while
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Re: New year, and new beginnings! - January 1st 2016, 03:27 PM

I'm so proud of you! and as you know.. if you or your baby or any member of your new family needs any help or advice, remember that you guys can always rant out to us, and we want things to work out for you.

We'll keep the faith, and we're going to help you keep the faith.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
lm. Offline
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Re: New year, and new beginnings! - January 1st 2016, 08:00 PM

This was really inspiring to read. I'm glad that things worked out so well for you. Also, congratulations on your second baby. Thanks for sharing!

You don't always need a plan.
Sometimes you just need to breathe,
trust, let go, and
see what happens.
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JohnOldman Offline
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Re: New year, and new beginnings! - January 13th 2016, 01:22 PM

“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.”
― Taylor Swift

“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
― Mae West, Wit & Wisdom of Mae West

“And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
― C. JoyBell C.

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become - because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. . .It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”
― C.S. Lewis
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
oceaneyes95 Offline
Average Joe
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Name: Lillian (Lilli)
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Posts: 112
Join Date: July 24th 2010

Re: New year, and new beginnings! - January 15th 2016, 06:16 PM

Thanks so much for all the replies! All the advice I get on here really does help! I take all of the replies into consideration! <3
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