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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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zsh56 Offline
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Dealing with emotional manipulation - January 2nd 2016, 07:41 AM

I'm feeling so hurt by my aunt who has always been manipulating me. Ever since when I was young, I found myself unable to say no to whatever she says, and that I became very soft spoken when talking with her. What really irks me is her temper and her attitude towards anyone who makes her angry. Her voice is really very sharp and piercing as she scolds people. You may notice that I'm posting this on the 2nd day of the New Year. Well, she suddenly came over my place and the moment she stepped into my house she asked if I have changed my number. It was only then I realized that I had forgotten to inform all my relatives my new number. They had been trying to contact me since November, and she was upset and straightaway pointed to me that I don't care about my family members. But I didn't contact them not because I don't care about them, it was due to my busy schoolwork and my mother getting hospitalized twice last year. I was very stressed and busy taking care of my mom and myself (I'm from a single parent family with no siblings) that I really had forgotten to contact my other family members. My mom didn't want them to know about her hospitalization so for about 2 months I went from home to school to hospital and back to home again. Worse, my results only allowed me to barely promote. My mind only contained school and my mom. After I realized I didn't contact them I apologized to her first, "Sorry." She replied, "Of course you should be sorry, you don't care about us at all. " Me: "No, I was busy and I really forgot, it wasn't on purpose." "So that just means you don't care at all." "I'm sorry! I said I'm sorry!" My voice was getting louder and impatient because she kept on assuming that I don't care about her at all. In the end she got upset about my attitude and started attacking my attitude saying that I was rude. I really got angry and walked away. Even when she's leaving I could hear her piercing voice telling my grandmother, her boyfriend and my other aunt that I'm so rude. And now I'm crying because my emotions are all piling up on me. How can I face her the next time I see her? And how can I stop feeling so useless?
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Dealing with emotional manipulation - January 2nd 2016, 08:36 AM

Hello!

If her temper's that way, then its probably better for you to not really think about this issue. Some people just have a negative attitude towards the world, and this means that some people will always be who they are. Its not just you .. she acts this way towards other people too. Temperamental people will always be temperamental until they learn to be more understanding and caring.

Just ignore it. Don't let this ruin your day, don't let this ruin your year for you.

If she just assumes you're being rude, then let her assume stuff about you. You're your own person, and you're better than who she thinks you are. You're better than that.. don't let her negative words influence you.

There's someone like that in most families, and it's just best to not mess with them and let them be. There's more understanding family members , better people to talk with and confide in out there.

I hope that i helped a little.. feel free to rant to me if there's anything you want to talk about. I'll always be around to help!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Dealing with emotional manipulation - January 13th 2016, 01:19 PM

One way to detect a manipulator is to see if a person acts with different faces in front of different people and in different situations. While all of us have a degree of this type of social differentiation, some psychological manipulators tend to habitually dwell in extremes, being highly polite to one individual and completely rude to another—or totally helpless one moment and fiercely aggressive the next. When you observe this type of behavior from an individual on a regular basis, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engaging with the person unless you absolutely have to. As mentioned earlier, reasons for chronic psychological manipulation are complex and deep-seated. It is not your job to change or save them.
   
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