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Need to learn that me being alright is important too - January 18th 2016, 09:08 PM

Possible trig.
Not sure where to start with this. Also it is important to note that all my friends i only know online.

I am always making sure my friends are ok. This is because i would really hate for someone else to feel even remotely how i feel. So i try to send everyone a message at least once a weak asking them how they are. If i talk with this person a lot, it will be every day. If someones not alright? Screw what ever im doing and lets go see if i can help 'em! What if that takes 30 minutes? Thats alright. I'll stick around. What if thats 6 to 9 hours a day, like i have been doing for the past 3 days? I do that too... So as you can see, this is a problem. I care too much about others and not enough about my self, i suppose. If there is a chance i can help at all, then i will get VERY anxious if i dont stick around.

No one ever checks to see if im alright though. Well, on here some people do, thanks. But in my main group of friends (and only other group of friends), no one does. And most have some idea of my problems. But no one checks to see if im alright??? Is it because im always helping everyone else? Do they just assume im alright because im always helping? Like, they are good friends. They are awesome. But they dont really check to see if im alright. Yea, they ask me how im doing, but only in group chats or if i ask first. So they arent really making sure if im alright. And my old best friend, who i guess i used to love (ha im an idiot), she doesnt care about me at all now. Like i always tried to help her when she needed it (even though she didnt let me help) and we had some great laughs and stuff, but we never talk now. Everyone says im awesome and stuff, but they always drift away from me. I guess i will always be abandoned after a year at most.
   
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Re: Need to learn that me being alright is important too - January 19th 2016, 04:33 AM

I think I can kind of understand how you feel. I don't have any friends at all not even online. Everyone at home expects so much from me all the time and it's like no one ever listens to me. If you need someone to talk to... so do I so you can talk to me if you want and I will listen About your friends, if they are really great and you want to talk to them about something then I think you should. It might be like you say and they just don't think there is anything wrong. Sometimes people take things (like good friends) for granted without even realising.
   
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Re: Need to learn that me being alright is important too - January 19th 2016, 05:16 AM

You sound like such a great friend. Your friends are lucky to have you.

I agree with what's been said. Your friends might assume you are okay because you are always helping them out. I think people who always try to help others are in pain too, because they help people so they don't have to cope with their own issues or because they don't want people to feel how they feel, like you've said. It's also hard to tell tone over the internet, and your friends might not catch anything as they would if you saw them in person.

Remember to put yourself first. You have to take care of yourself so you can help others. If you find you're neglecting yourself, take a few steps back. It is very nice of you to support other people, but it's not fair to neglect yourself in the process. I think you should consider telling your friends how you're doing. If they ask in a group chat, be honest, or talk to someone one-on-one and express your feelings.


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Re: Need to learn that me being alright is important too - January 19th 2016, 07:38 AM

Thanks.
   
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