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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My dad... - February 21st 2016, 08:17 AM

I really have no idea what to do. My dad is an alcoholic. As soon as he gets home from work he fills a huge cup with beer and sips it til he passes out. On weekends he starts drinking early. He's always drunk bothering me. Amd its like no one in my family does ANYTHING. Every time I point it out I get cussed out or told to worry about myself. Getting help won't work because he doesn't want it. Its like im the only one that sees this problem. My boyfriend and cousin are the only two people in my life that care and will listen when I need to vent or cry.
   
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Re: My dad... - February 21st 2016, 07:22 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's alcoholism. Alcoholics can sometimes put on a good show, and it seems like he has your family believing that he doesn't have a problem, or your family is so used to his behavior that they don't know it's wrong. They could be in denial about it as well. Even if you or your family did do anything to help your father, getting help is his choice. He has to want to do it for himself and if he's not willing to do that, not much can be done for him.

Keep doing what you're doing for yourself. Keep venting to your boyfriend and your cousin about what you're going through when you need to. Come on TeenHelp and talk to people, or blog about what's bothering you so you're not keeping it inside. Practice self-care, and self-soothing techniques to help you cope with what you're going through.


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Re: My dad... - February 23rd 2016, 02:42 AM

Hey there,

There isn't a whole lot you can do if the adults in your life won't acknowledge your fathers behavior. And, even if they did recognize it and want to do something about it your dad would have to make the choice to get help for his behavior. Until he hits rock bottom with his drinking it is unlikely that he will take the steps to seek out help for this.

I think that Cassie covered some of the reasons as to why your family will not acknowledge his behavior though. It's possible they have grown used to it or they know that he will not get treatment for his addiction.

I think that practicing self care is the best thing that you can do. Do things that you enjoy and that help you to tolerate your dad's behavior. I would suggest that you find a place to vent about your concerns regarding this such as the forums here or the blogs. And, don't stop opening up to your boyfriend and your cousin about your feelings. Even if the adults in your family will not do anything and aren't people that you can turn to for support that doesn't mean that you do not deserve support.


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Re: My dad... - February 27th 2016, 06:07 PM

Hi there,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Thanks for reaching out to us here at Teenhelp though. I hope we can help you.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I never used to help myself and would drink from the minute I woke up until the minute I passed out. I finally got hospitalised and WA put on detox although I came out of hospital and went down the same path and got hospitalised again and put back on detox. Then I went into recovery and after a long hospital stay for other mental health problems, I started going to AA meetings and helping myself because I didn't want to be an alcoholic anymore.ni can now say I'm a recovering alcoholic but my point is, your dad is an adult and unless he decides he wants to get better and wants help with this problem, he's not going to get better and you can't help him. You can offer to listen to him and support him but at the same time, that shouldn't necessarily be your job to because you're not the adult in this. And you have to just take on what you can. Don't put too much on yourself okay.

If you ever want to chat or need help then feel free to message me.bi hope your dad decides he want help and starts recovery. Don't be afraid to seek help for yourself if you're struggling with all of this either. People are there to support you as we are so don't suffer in silence okay?

Hopes and wishes,
Jessie


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