TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BubblyBabyBlue Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
BubblyBabyBlue's Avatar
 
Name: Storm
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 87
Join Date: April 13th 2012

Angry Daddy issues -_- Family issues (Long..) - February 27th 2016, 04:16 AM

Firstly, I am now 18. Legal. An adult. Not a 8 year old. (Yes, I know you're not considered an adult if you don't pay bills, but bear with me here).

I say this because I swear my dad treats me like I'm 8. I understand that I'm the last child and I'll always be his baby girl, but he has to let me grow as a person..an individual...but how can I do that without feeling like shit all the time?

Throughout the years, my father has ALWAYS commented on the things I wanted, the stuff I wore, the stuff I bought, etc. He constantly made it seem as though I'm a "follower", when I'm not. That has always had a toll on my self esteem (was bullied at school and basically at home too imo, but then I'm again I'm very sensitive). I've been evaluated last year, where they found out I suffer from major depression (after constantly doubting and even joking about it, along with my older sister) and they still do the same shit, and even take it as a joke. He constantly makes me feel like shit whenever I want to try something new or change my appearance. I used to be a tomboy and of course, he had a problem with that. So, now I'm in between. I wear makeup (not much) at times, I want to wear heels (not a lot), I tried wearing a tote bag...but I'll stick to my bookbag. I'm not into totes yet. Hmm I tried being more "fashionable"? Being more cautious about what I wear. I try to wear different types of jewelry and I'm working on getting a faux nose ring and septum ring to change my look when I want. Yesterday however...

I got into an argument with my dad. I was looking at a pair of Timberlands that I want and he comes in the kitchen saying,"Why would you want those? I had a few pairs, they're uncomfortable. You only want them because those ghetto hood chicks at your school have them. Be creative."....Um..last time I checked, ever since I was small, you never wanted to pay for shit I got unless you were bugged by mom. So...why you judging what I'm using my money on? Now of course I didn't say that, but I was thinking it. I went off and said how he's basically calling me a follower for wanting a commonly known brand of boots. That's like saying you're a damn follower for wearing aeropostale..or Hollister..or even clothes in general. Basically, he's saying I'm not going to buy it and he'll start having me pay for stuff. You're that petty.. I really thought he was ridiculous for judging me on boots I want. "You have a black pair already." I like to choose from a variety of colors. Different colors for different outfits.

So fast forward to today, I confront my mom, who says,"Everyone is entitled to an opinion". Yes, I'm very aware of that, but do you know how shitty that has made me feel throughout the fucking years? Everytime I do something, a hobby, a sport, I'm a follower. When I paid to get MY hair done for senior pictures, he only said negative stuff about it, yet everyone else gave me compliments. "I can't wait for you to get that shit taken out your hair, it makes you look too grown."...I have a babyface. People say I look even younger with it, but okay. Mind you, YOU DIDN'T PAY A DIME FOR IT TO GET DONE. Me and mommy did. Back to my mommy..

So, I'm telling her and she's talking over me saying he's entitled to his opinion. Okay, but neither one of you gave a shit about none of my opinions for years. It's funny how that works...She then said how I don't know how to talk to people. I always yell. 1. Anger issues. 2. I'm never heard in the household. 3. I get it from the both of you..she basically started saying how I don't wear uniform to school and how I will lose jobs because of the way I talk to people and present myself (not wearing uniform). However, my supervisor has told me I'm very well spoken, as well as my teachers. I definitely will wear uniform for a job. It's mandatory and I wear uniform to school sometimes. Not all, but some (Yes, I know I should all the time). Also, I brought up the fact that she never brings to light problems unless they involve her. Then, she wakes up. Otherwise, she's as blind as a bat. I was giving her a "headache" because she didn't want to hear what I was saying. My dad yells at my sis and I most of the time, which he claims is "the way he talks"...right. However, when he yells at her, that's when she says,"You yell at them too." So yes, I was loud. Yes, I was being a brat, and yes, I was out of line and fresh for talking back to both of them. However...it's just so fucking annoying being criticized about EVERYTHING I DO..BY MY FATHER. That's one of the shittiest things in the world. I love them to death but it really pisses me off..help please.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Always *'s Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,186
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: Daddy issues -_- Family issues (Long..) - February 27th 2016, 05:50 PM

You could always try a different approach with your parents. Maybe try writing a letter to them explaining how you feel and explain that you're writing the letter because you don't feel heard. If you want them to take you seriously as a mature adult (albeit one who doesn't pay bills, but you can act like an adult in your behaviour, if not always in practice) it might go a long way to acknowledge that you know you're not going to be perfect that you might do things they don't always approve of BUT (and the but is key) you feel like their constant criticism of things you do (such as accusing you of being a follower for wanting Timberland books, which are epic boots btw, and your dad negatively criticizing your prom hair) are extremely hurtful to you and damaging your self-esteem. By acknowledging that you realize they might not always approve of your choices it might help them realize that you are conscious and respectful of their input but you have a problem with how they handle it. You can try to provide examples of what might be better for them. Like letting your dad know that he really shouldn't be escalating a conversation into a fight with your liking boots.

Hopefully writing a letter (ideally to each of them individually to address specific things they do) will help them hear you and try to be more understanding.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BubblyBabyBlue Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
BubblyBabyBlue's Avatar
 
Name: Storm
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 87
Join Date: April 13th 2012

Re: Daddy issues -_- Family issues (Long..) - February 27th 2016, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Always * View Post
You could always try a different approach with your parents. Maybe try writing a letter to them explaining how you feel and explain that you're writing the letter because you don't feel heard. If you want them to take you seriously as a mature adult (albeit one who doesn't pay bills, but you can act like an adult in your behaviour, if not always in practice) it might go a long way to acknowledge that you know you're not going to be perfect that you might do things they don't always approve of BUT (and the but is key) you feel like their constant criticism of things you do (such as accusing you of being a follower for wanting Timberland books, which are epic boots btw, and your dad negatively criticizing your prom hair) are extremely hurtful to you and damaging your self-esteem. By acknowledging that you realize they might not always approve of your choices it might help them realize that you are conscious and respectful of their input but you have a problem with how they handle it. You can try to provide examples of what might be better for them. Like letting your dad know that he really shouldn't be escalating a conversation into a fight with your liking boots.

Hopefully writing a letter (ideally to each of them individually to address specific things they do) will help them hear you and try to be more understanding.
Thank you so much! I'll try writing to them to see if they'll understand my POV. Hopefully it works!
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
daddy, family, issues, long

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.