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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Stephe Offline
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Name: Stephe
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My mom - March 6th 2016, 04:02 AM

Hey guys,

I think that my mom is unstable. She has fibromyalgia, you can check my thread on that, it will help you understand. Anyway, 2 days ago for example, we were at the store, and I was putting stuff in the cart because I was planning on making dinner. All of a sudden she starts complaining because of all the stuff I put in the cart. She complains about how I am oblivious with checking prices, but I do and stuff is still expensive!

Sometimes we will get in an argument, and she always gets all defensive when we disagree. She always criticize people , and she says "He or she is gonna get his butt kicked one day' and it drives me crazy! When I tell her to stop, she gets mad then sad.

Since I'm a teenager, my voice cracks sometimes. We get into an argument and mocks my voice, then complains and tells me not to do the voice; I cant help it! She also says I never say "Thank You" when I say it all the time! She rarely thanks me for making dinner, she is such a hypocrite!

I'm pretty sure the only reason she married my dad is because of his money. I know it's not really fair for me to say that, but it seems true to me. She spends money like water, on clothes, hats, shoes, ect. She spends thousands of dollars and it is stupid. Frankly, I want to go see Europe, but when I ask, she says it is too expensive. If she would stop spending so much money, maybe we could go? I also have a right to see the world and different cultures.

I am rarely happy when I am around her. I almost want my parents to get divorced so I don't have to see her anymore. I think she is emotionally abusing me, she makes fun of my voice and tells me not to be a big baby when I am upset. I think I'm going to talk to my dad about this soon.
   
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Re: My mom - March 6th 2016, 09:19 PM

You know, it does sound like something odd is happening with her. Her looseness with money but tightness when you are spending that same money, her preference for luxuries over (I gathered from your description) essentials, her unfair tactic of mocking your voice when that is not the subject being argued about...

I've been through abuse from parents myself, and what you're saying sounds very familiar. I'm only able to be on for tonight, so I don't have the time at the moment to offer you support over several days in coming to terms with this, so what I want to do instead is suggest you try out another forum, as well as this one. Here: http://www.outofthefog.net/forum/

Out Of The FOG (FOG stands for Fear, Obligation and Guilt) is a specialist support forum for people with personality-disordered parents. I'm not saying that your mother definitely is, but there are a lot of pages on that web site in addition to the forum, that you might want to read. See if it fits what's happening between you and your mum. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I want to present it as a possibility.

I've got another thing to say, and I want to make sure I say it the right way... You said you're planning on talking to your dad about this. Now, I feel awkward about saying what I think about that. What I think is that if your mum is personality-disordered, then there's a possibility that your dad is, too. It's not for certain, but it's possible that he only managed to marry your mum and stay married to her if he had an unhealthy mind, too. *Alternatively* he is of healthy mind and stayed around because he had kids with her and wanted to do the right thing by you and any siblings you have.

Only you know if your dad seems like a healthy person. Trust your intuition on that, because I can't tell you for sure. All I do know - as the offspring of a couple who were both pretty sick-minded - is that if your dad is as disordered as your mum, he won't support you, so you need to be prepared to protect yourself.

Start by arming yourself with information. Check out that web site, read up, see if it fits, and if you feel like trying out the forum there, it's very busy with lots of people with similar experiences to you.

Take care of yourself.
   
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Stephe Offline
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Re: My mom - March 7th 2016, 01:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satine View Post
You know, it does sound like something odd is happening with her. Her looseness with money but tightness when you are spending that same money, her preference for luxuries over (I gathered from your description) essentials, her unfair tactic of mocking your voice when that is not the subject being argued about...

I've been through abuse from parents myself, and what you're saying sounds very familiar. I'm only able to be on for tonight, so I don't have the time at the moment to offer you support over several days in coming to terms with this, so what I want to do instead is suggest you try out another forum, as well as this one. Here: http://www.outofthefog.net/forum/

Out Of The FOG (FOG stands for Fear, Obligation and Guilt) is a specialist support forum for people with personality-disordered parents. I'm not saying that your mother definitely is, but there are a lot of pages on that web site in addition to the forum, that you might want to read. See if it fits what's happening between you and your mum. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I want to present it as a possibility.

I've got another thing to say, and I want to make sure I say it the right way... You said you're planning on talking to your dad about this. Now, I feel awkward about saying what I think about that. What I think is that if your mum is personality-disordered, then there's a possibility that your dad is, too. It's not for certain, but it's possible that he only managed to marry your mum and stay married to her if he had an unhealthy mind, too. *Alternatively* he is of healthy mind and stayed around because he had kids with her and wanted to do the right thing by you and any siblings you have.

Only you know if your dad seems like a healthy person. Trust your intuition on that, because I can't tell you for sure. All I do know - as the offspring of a couple who were both pretty sick-minded - is that if your dad is as disordered as your mum, he won't support you, so you need to be prepared to protect yourself.

Start by arming yourself with information. Check out that web site, read up, see if it fits, and if you feel like trying out the forum there, it's very busy with lots of people with similar experiences to you.

Take care of yourself.
Thanks. My dad has a healthy mind, and he isn't afraid to disagree with anyone. I think after I go to college, which will be soon, he will divorce her.
   
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