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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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BreathingIn Offline
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Vicious cycle of losing friends - March 20th 2016, 06:58 AM

I can make friends fairly easy. Not like making a lot of friends, but rather I can be pretty comfortable with others.

But when I get closer to others, I feel almost "tired" and I never feel like doing anything. And because of this, they stop inviting me places.

I hate this. I don't know why I'm like this. I can make a friend, but after about a year I start to feel like backing away when they want to hang out more and more.

What's wrong with me? How do I get excited about having friends? Am I just not being friends with the right people?
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cynefin Offline
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Re: Vicious cycle of losing friends - March 21st 2016, 10:31 PM

I don't think you're friends with the wrong people, unless they're doing things to make you feel like backing away. From what you've written, it sounds like you could have had a close relationship with a friend or family member at some point, and something bad happened in that relationship. Therefore, you struggle when people show signs of becoming close to you because you don't want to get hurt again. Almost like you do it to protect yourself, even if that means giving up a good friendship. I could be wrong, but it's just a thought I have.

Regardless, I think the first step to take in all of this is to figure out why you feel like pushing away. Once you figure that out, you can try to pay close attention to your feelings and you can work on them as they come up in your friendships.

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cycle, friends, losing, vicious

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