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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Sarah929 Offline
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How do I politely deal with a friend like this? - March 21st 2016, 05:40 PM

I've been in the same classes as her for four years now (we're Seniors in HS) and she only ever talks to me if none of her other friends are around. Sometimes she talk bad about people, but then she'll be nice to them and act like she's friends with them to their face. I know she's said some stuff about me in the past. I always listen to her, but then when I need to vent, she couldn't care less. Sometimes she'll talk for ten minutes at a time without being interrupted. I'm pretty much the quiet, shy girl in school, and everyone knows I don't talk much. I feel like she's just using me for someone to vent to because she knows I will listen, but when I need to talk, she doesn't care. I like listening to people because I'm not much of a talker, but when I'm constantly expected to listen to them when they won't even listen to me for one minute, it gets annoying. Especially after spending so much time with her for four years. I also don't really have any other people to talk to because like I said, I'm the shy girl in school, and a lot of people see me as a loser because I don't really talk. There were also times Freshman and Sophmore year where she would just ditch me at lunch to go sit with her other friends, and I would be left by myself. I don't want to be rude or make her feel bad about this. I wish I could make more friends but I always get nervous and choke up when I try talking to new people. If anyone actually reads through this and gives me advice, thank you so much in advance.
   
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Re: How do I politely deal with a friend like this? - March 21st 2016, 09:05 PM

Hey I know how you feel. If you read my thread about how my friend E betrayed then you know what I'm going through is the same. Whenever E wants to talk we listen like she was bragging none stop about her boyfriend and when I was talking about Ed who's my boyfriend she would say: I don't care. I suggest talking with your friend. If she says she doesn't care or that you always want attention I suggest you cut off all connections with her. Hope this helps.
   
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Re: How do I politely deal with a friend like this? - March 21st 2016, 09:40 PM

I agree with you. It sounds like she's just using you so she can have you around when none of her other friends are around. I suggest talking to her about how you're feeling if you feel comfortable enough to do that. You should consider preparing for her response, though, because it might not be kind and it could end up making you feel worse.

You said making new friends is hard for you. Maybe you can consider joining some school clubs or activities. You could also volunteer, or apply for jobs if you're able to and interested in working. I think you might be able to make friends in an environment with less people.


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