TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
eckky Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
eckky's Avatar
 
Name: Alec
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: scotland

Posts: 131
Join Date: July 17th 2013

Guilt anxiety - April 10th 2016, 01:00 PM

I am moving to Canada with my son and partner in November to stay for a minimum of 3 years (if my visa application is successful) and am looking forward to it as I've always wanted to live there. But ever since I have told my parents they have been so judgmental and guilt trip me any opportunity they get they say things like "you'll be abandoning a big family" or "we'll never get to see you or the baby again"even after me telling them we will be through to visit each year and that they can also make a trip through to stay for a few weeks but that isn't enough for her I guess. She can let me go and it's pissing me off I sit in bed with anxiety being double because of it and it's actually making me second guess "do I stay and leave my kid because of her or say fuck it and leave her to be with my kid?" I know the obvious answer is my kid but with this anxiety its pushing me back. My dad abandoned me at birth so I know what it's like and I don't want to do the same I just can't take this anxiety I'm trying to be firm with my mum and tell her I'm going back for 3 years at least then we'll decide ( about 95% chance I'll stay in Canada but I'm not telling her that) I hate hurting her but I need to get on with my life does anyone have any idea on what I can do?

Last edited by Hypothesis.; April 10th 2016 at 06:56 PM. Reason: Moving to the more appropriate forum. :)
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline
Verbal venom.

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
cynefin's Avatar
 
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: 1261'

Posts: 9,953
Blog Entries: 1519
Join Date: August 25th 2012

Re: Guilt anxiety - April 12th 2016, 03:01 AM

I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't accepting your decision. It can be tough when they become judgmental like that. I like the idea of sitting down with your parents and telling them how they make you feel when they make comments like that. I think you should tell them that you've made the decision that you feel is best for you and your son.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
eckky Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
eckky's Avatar
 
Name: Alec
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: scotland

Posts: 131
Join Date: July 17th 2013

Re: Guilt anxiety - April 19th 2016, 04:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassado View Post
I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't accepting your decision. It can be tough when they become judgmental like that. I like the idea of sitting down with your parents and telling them how they make you feel when they make comments like that. I think you should tell them that you've made the decision that you feel is best for you and your son.
I have done that on numerous occasions and they still try to guilt me and it's reaching my limit I don't want to miss out an opportunity like this
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Lotus Eater Offline
You are not alone.
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Lotus Eater's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Under The Sea

Posts: 561
Join Date: November 24th 2009

Re: Guilt anxiety - April 19th 2016, 06:57 PM

Hi Alec,

You should do what you feel is best. If you genuinely want to move to Canada with your son and partner and believe that it's the best thing to be doing for your son and yourself, then go for it.

Your parents are guilt-tripping you because they're finding it difficult to come to terms with the thought of you being so far away (and not being able see or talk to you as regularly), but if you explain wanting to be there for your son because you don't want to do to him what your dad did to you, they might be more understanding of the situation. You could also explain that staying behind and being away from your son is only going to make you unhappy, and they're still not going to be able to see him as regularly even if you do stay behind. I think that, as parents, they'll come around and understand why it is that you feel that you have to go, even if it hurts them to think about it now. After all, at the end of the day, they'll want to see you happy, and if moving to be with your son and partner is something that'll make you happy, then they'll come to accept it.


You have me.
Until every last star in the galaxy dies.
You have me.

- Amie Kaufman



NEED TO VENT? CLICK HERE.
Never forget, you are not alone. ♥
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Always *'s Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,186
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: Guilt anxiety - April 21st 2016, 12:05 AM

Moving to Canada would be no different than if you moved to the other side of the USA. It just seems like it'll be a bigger deal because of the whole different country / border control stuff, but it's not like you're moving to Europe or something where the plane tickets are much more expensive.

My point is that you're doing nothing wrong. You're doing what's best for you and you family. Your parents will come to terms with it when it is




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
anxiety, guilt

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.