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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I'm never allowed to hangout with my best friend again..help?!? - May 11th 2016, 09:11 PM

My best friend and I are never allowed to hangout ever again according to her parents. Last time we hungout, she wanted to go to a boy's house (let's call him T) T and my best friend (let's call her S) S hooked up, (nothing sexual just kissing). She did not tell her parents, and said we were at another friends house. Her parents just found out two days ago. S told me that her mom said were only allowed to hangout at her house. Today it escalated, and S told me that her parents told her that were never allowed to hangout ever again. Her parents also turned off her phone. Her parents said that I lie and that I can't be trusted and it really hurts me because nobody has ever thought of me that way, even my worst enemy's parents. I have no idea what to do and nobody that I know can help me with the situation. I am really stressed out because S and I have been best friends for 4 years and her family and mine have a close relationship. I don't understand what she must have said to make them think of me like that, but I cannot loose our friendship. She is like a sister to me and I have no idea what I will do without her. I really want to do something to earn her parents trust back. Also, S is upset with me and keeps freaking on me over the smallest things and I don't know why. She is also talking to me less and I absolutley hate it. Can someone please help me and give me some advice?
   
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Re: I'm never allowed to hangout with my best friend again..help?!? - May 11th 2016, 09:49 PM

Hey,
why don't you go to her parents, and apologise. Promise them it will never happen again and that you're willing to earn their trust again. It often helps. An honest apology will go further than you'd think.
And ask them what you can do to earn their trust back.Normally, they will tell you, and you can do that.
   
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Re: I'm never allowed to hangout with my best friend again..help?!? - May 11th 2016, 11:05 PM

I think your friend might be stressed out about being unable to hangout, and about her home situation in general (since conflict with parents is uncomfortable) and she's directing it at you without meaning to. A lot of people direct their feelings toward people they feel safe and comfortable with.

I'm assuming since you're not allowed to spend time together, you probably can't go to her house to see her parents. In that case, I think it might help if you write a note and explain what you've said here. You can apologize and talk about how you don't want to lose this friendship because it's important to you. If you can't go to your house, consider mailing it.

Also keep in mind that parents usually get very angry about things like this at first, but some do cool down after they've had time to think about things and there's a chance they'll think differently later on.


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Re: I'm never allowed to hangout with my best friend again..help?!? - May 12th 2016, 02:39 AM

I think that apologizing to your friends parents would be good but if your friend lied about you to cover up the things she did they might not want to hear it.

It seems weird that they would change things from having to hang out at their house to never being able to hang out. I do know that sometimes parents like to blame other kids for their own kids mistakes.

Personally, I would talk to your parents about this and get their opinion on what to do. If they are close friends with these people they might have insight in regards to what you can do.


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