Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
geez Offline
The One and Only
Welcome me, I'm new!
geez's Avatar
Name: stressed out
Gender: they/them
Location: USA

Posts: 7
Join Date: October 13th 2015

I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 1st 2016, 08:33 PM

Hi everyone,

To start out, I'm in 8th grade- about to end school and head for high school, so try to get into the mindset if possible.

Yesterday, I wished one of my old former friends a happy birthday on instagram. Her response was friendly and it got me thinking.

Now, we didn't have any sort of falling out, we just were assigned to different classes in sixth grade and rarely hung out in the summer leading up to it, so in sixth grade we made new friends and drifted. We chatted a bit in sixth, but I think very very very little in seventh, and basically NONE this year.

She was a great friend through fourth and fifth grade, and my first close friend when I moved into a new town ( current town and current setting in this ).

I want to befriend her again as I also want to be closer to one of her friends since I share similar interests to them both, but lets focus on the birthday girl for now.

I want to direct message her on instagram to say hi, but I don't want to phrase it weird, and I'm already panicked since I talked to her (wishing a happy birthday ) yesterday. I feel as though if I text her today or even tomorrow, she'll think I'm creepy and desperate and maybe even now she doesn't want to be my friend.

I tend to overthink things a lot and it gives me really bad anxiety, and even with current close friends, I never hang out with them outside of school because I'm afraid it'll be awkward. So if its bad enough with my actual close friends- how to I get back in touch with something close to a stranger?

I've panicked about this all day today and yesterday...I don't know why I'm so bad at being social.....

I'm depressingly antisocial
Tumblr trash
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Destroyprophecy Offline
Average Joe
Destroyprophecy's Avatar
Age: 22
Gender: Female

Posts: 125
Join Date: May 2nd 2016

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 1st 2016, 09:08 PM

Just tell her that you miss hanging out with her and would like to rekindle your friendship
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,450
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 1st 2016, 11:31 PM

Hey there,

I have experience with reaching out to high school friends on facebook and it has gone relatively well. While we have never met up in person I did get invited to hang out recently but I had another engagement. If your old friend was receptive to you messaging her on instagram it is possible that she will be receptive to you reaching out and sending a message.

I realize this can be pretty terrifying to do but sometimes taking that leap of faith can be worth it. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. Figure out what it is you want to say and go from there. When I have a message to send someone I will sometimes write it out on microsoft word so that I can get it perfect before sending it. Maybe this is something that you can do.

I am wishing you the best of luck and good luck in high school!

|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Kathlyn Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Kathlyn's Avatar
Age: 21

Posts: 20
Join Date: June 2nd 2016

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 2nd 2016, 06:28 AM

I think you should speak to her. Find ways to speak to her in real. Then you can discuss about it later in Instagram chats. That way she wont think you're creepy or something. But if you have been good friends before, I don't think it should be a problem to talk to her.

Far Gone Away.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
Ambedo.'s Avatar
Name: Sam
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,585
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 2nd 2016, 07:10 AM

Hey there,

I think it's great that you're thinking of reaching out to her! So often, people drift from each other because of life circumstances and neither reaches out again, even if they both want to. DMing her on Instagram is a great way to get in contact with her quickly. Your message doesn't have to be long at all! Perhaps you can say something along the lines of "Hey, how are you? The fact that it was your birthday the other day got me thinking about all the good times we used to have. I'd love to (insert fun, laid-back activity that you both like here) and catch up. Let me know if you want to and when you're free!" Keeping it short and sweet will let her know that you're thinking of her and miss having her in your life without running the risk of it turning into a long, over-thought message.

Hope this helps!

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Counted Heart. Offline
Sweeter philosophy.
TeenHelp Addict
Counted Heart.'s Avatar
Name: Charlie
Gender: Sometimes

Posts: 9,279
Blog Entries: 77
Join Date: September 20th 2009

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 4th 2016, 01:19 AM

Hi there,

I think it's great that you want to reconnect with an old friend. I really like Sammi's idea of messaging her to say that her birthday reminded you of your friendship, and that you've been thinking about her. Or you can use her birthday as a starting point, maybe by asking how it was or what kind of presents she got, or even talking about some kind of birthday-related memory you have with her (such as "Remember at your birthday party when -").

If her response was friendly, that's a good sign that she might be willing to rekindle the friendship. I'd try to keep it short and sweet so she doesn't feel overwhelmed when trying to reply. Since you didn't have a falling out, there probably won't be any hard feelings on either side, which should make rebuilding the friendship a lot easier than if there had been something more dramatic than simply drifting apart.

As for being anxious and overthinking the situation, what I'll say is: friendships are messy. There isn't always a clear-cut right and wrong way to approach things, and often you have to "feel your way" through it. The best way to stress yourself out is to think about the situation without taking any action, because then there are going to be so many "what if" questions that you're bound to get anxious. So just remind yourself that the more you actively seek to build and maintain friendships, the less time you'll have to be worrying about the stresses of being social.

I hope you and your friend manage to click again, and I wish you all the best.

let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
I can't get enough
Always *'s Avatar
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,169
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 5th 2016, 04:42 PM

Since you guys didn't have a falling out and just sort of drifted apart naturally, it shouldn't be too difficult to try to get back in touch.
Depending on your comfort level, you could send this friend a message to just sort of be like "hey, I hope you had a great birthday. I know it's been a super long time since we hung out or anything, but I was remembering what an awesome person you were to hang out with. If you ever want to hang out, that would be great" and like maybe try to steer the conversation toward making plans.

It's not like you need to write any sort of heart felt apology for any sort of boo boo you made, nor do you need ot find a way to forgive them for anything they did, so while it might take time, there aren't many massive barriers to rekindling your friendship. You just need to put yourself out there and give it time to get going. As with all relationships, they take time to build, it can just be more awkward when it's someone you used to be friens wit and now wat to be closer to, but it's all the same really.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Lauren02 Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Lauren02's Avatar
Name: Lauren
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 31
Join Date: June 4th 2016

Re: I want to become friends with an old friend again - June 10th 2016, 04:44 PM

i would just tell her why i thought we could be friends and if youre still who you were before that helps too! if you still have the kind of stuff your friend once liked about you
id probaly feel great if it was me and a friend got back in touch. I have a couple like that i last saw when i was 11 (3 years ago) because they went to a diferent secondary school
Closed Thread


friend, friends

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.