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Superdude Offline
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No one ever wants to hang out with me - June 21st 2016, 06:54 AM

It's summer and I finished my freshmen year of college last month and so far I haven't done anything fun. I was unable to make friends because my community college has no social life. My classmates don't even bother talking to each other. They rather text their friends whose in a different room. Anyway no one bothered to accept new people so they hang out with friends they knew from high school. Besides working, all i do is read a book, go to the gym and watch Netflix during my free time. My best friend from 6th grade goes to the same school as me but I noticed we're drifting apart. First I always ask him if he's interested to hang out but he keeps saying "next time" or he's busy or some lame excuses. Second, he always hangs out with his other friends based on his Instagram post which makes me feel left out. Third, he has a girlfriend and finally we never hang out together outside of school. We only see each other in school, chat and that's it. I'm getting really bored with our friendship. Our plan was to spend two years at community college and then transfer to university of our choice. I have a feeling that our friendship will end after we graduate community college since I'm the one making an effort and he's not. Anyway I live in a really small town and there is nothing to do. I have a car and license but I need to have a reason to go somewhere. When i have no plans, I basically stay home all day and night. My other friends from high school don't make contact with me anymore ever since we graduate because they're out of state. I literally have no friends and I'm so lonely for the next two months until school starts. I'm going on a 10 day cruise in the Caribbean in August but I have nothing to do between now and August. Summer is the best season and I'm so bored which is one reason why I don't like summer vacation. I feel like I'm wasting my life doing nothing. I get jealous of people having fun except me. My parents don't take me on vacation anymore. I'm starting to feel depressed that my life is not very exhilarating. I'm living my life as an elderly person even though I'm 19. Just wake up, eat, do nothing, sleep. I want to spend time away from home but my cruise trip is not enough. I don't want to return to school and hear everyone else's amazing summer and makes me realize that I have no life.
   
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Re: No one ever wants to hang out with me - June 21st 2016, 08:45 AM

Heya I can't really help you when it comes to making friends, because of all people I'm not a pro at socialising! I know the feeling of having a friend starting to slip away, making up excuses not to hang out, etc. and all you can really do is accept it. People change, and wether you like it or not some of them are going to leave you.

As for being lonely and bored and unproductive and not wanting to do nothing during the summer holidays, what I would do (and will do, since I also live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere far from all my friends) is:
- accept being alone and make the most of it. It means you don't have to make compromises to fit anyone's preferences, you don't have to spen energy planning anything out, you can just do whatever you want.
- find an activity to work on, have some sort of project... do you have any hobbies? Personally I'm super into all the artsy stuff, so I'm planning on painting my walls, drawing, recording some song covers and putting together a short clip, that kind of thing.
- if you have a sudden feeling of "hey, it might be interesting for me to *insert activity here*", try your best not to let the other feeling of "eh, nah, I might as well stay home nd play video games on the couch" take over. If you suddenly feel like driving to the top of the mountain or whatever, go for it. I know I would if I could drive and had a car.
- lastly, if you don't have anything to do at all, no plans, no projects, nothing, then getting a summer job might be a good idea. Even if it's not particularly enjoyable, you'll still get the feeling of accomplishment from having devoted some of your time to doing something productive, and of course you'll cash up, which is always nice.

I feel like you already know all of this already though, and you're trying to gain some motivation... so good luck with all that!


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
   
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Re: No one ever wants to hang out with me - June 23rd 2016, 12:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline View Post
Heya I can't really help you when it comes to making friends, because of all people I'm not a pro at socialising! I know the feeling of having a friend starting to slip away, making up excuses not to hang out, etc. and all you can really do is accept it. People change, and wether you like it or not some of them are going to leave you.

As for being lonely and bored and unproductive and not wanting to do nothing during the summer holidays, what I would do (and will do, since I also live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere far from all my friends) is:
- accept being alone and make the most of it. It means you don't have to make compromises to fit anyone's preferences, you don't have to spen energy planning anything out, you can just do whatever you want.
- find an activity to work on, have some sort of project... do you have any hobbies? Personally I'm super into all the artsy stuff, so I'm planning on painting my walls, drawing, recording some song covers and putting together a short clip, that kind of thing.
- if you have a sudden feeling of "hey, it might be interesting for me to *insert activity here*", try your best not to let the other feeling of "eh, nah, I might as well stay home nd play video games on the couch" take over. If you suddenly feel like driving to the top of the mountain or whatever, go for it. I know I would if I could drive and had a car.
- lastly, if you don't have anything to do at all, no plans, no projects, nothing, then getting a summer job might be a good idea. Even if it's not particularly enjoyable, you'll still get the feeling of accomplishment from having devoted some of your time to doing something productive, and of course you'll cash up, which is always nice.

I feel like you already know all of this already though, and you're trying to gain some motivation... so good luck with all that!
Thanks for the advice! I'll try to have fun alone. It's just me, myself, and I and I'm gonna be my own best friend!
   
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Re: No one ever wants to hang out with me - June 30th 2016, 02:30 PM

Nice advice Skyline!
   
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