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My brother and his almost girlfriend make fun of me? - December 19th 2016, 01:45 AM

So, my brother is 24, and I'm 21. We live at home still. He has never been in a relationship or dated anyone. He's always been super protective of me and has loved me and I've been the only girl in his life that he's had to take care of. I mean this at the least creepy and weird level, of course. He started dating a girl for the first time a few weeks ago and I couldn't be happier for them. Really. I've always wanted him to have a girlfriend so that I could have a female friend to be best friends with! You know, eventually he'll get married, and I'll finally get to have a sister!

But here's the thing. I find myself feeling kind of sad because now I have to share the love. I know it's weird and I mean this in the least creepy way possible. It's just a little strange to me that he now has another girl in his life he has to take care of, and love, and protect, but even more. He's eventually going to love her more than he loves me which is as it should be but I'm a little sad about that.

But over all, of course happy. Anyway... my brother and his girlfriend are both severe atheists and I recently became a Christian. Apparently my brother and her laugh about me being a Christian all the time, and they've only been on three dates! She hasn't even met me yet!

The first time, my brother told her I'm a Christian and she said "why?" and he said "God knows" and they both laughed. And then apparently today, my brother said I went to church, and she said "lol church doesn't make a person good" and they laughed about it. These are 24 year old adults! She doesn't even know me! Is it fair for them to do this?

Lastly, my brother comes home talking about her as if she's God and as if I'm crap. I get he's in the honeymoon phase and I'm happy he's happy, but at my expense?? Apparently she's really into scientific things and is very smart. He keeps comparing her to me, though. He keeps saying to my parents that "she's very smart! Unlike Rachel (me) is." And then my brother was yelling at me yesterday and I told him "you know, you can't yell at your girlfriend the way you yell at me. No one will put up with that." And he replied, "well she's not as dumb as you are so I wouldn't need to yell!"

Lastly, this girl is like a health freak and doesn't eat sugar, gluten, or any junk food. So she has really good skin. I like to wear make up a lot, so my brother said "Yeah my girlfriend doesn't wear any make up. She has natural beauty because she eats well. She doesn't have anything to cover up unlike Rachel does. And she doesn't even use the cheap make up that Rachel does. She doesn't waste her time on YouTube watching make up videos like Rachel does either because she's smarter than that."

He just belittles me!!!! I haven't even met the girl! Like stop! I have tried telling my brother to stop and he just said that his girlfriend makes fun of his sister too and that it's just normal.

I'm pissed. I wanted to be best friends with this girl and now she thinks I'm a joke.
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Re: My brother and his almost girlfriend make fun of me? - December 19th 2016, 12:54 PM

First, I don't think you can compare the way he's going to love his girlfriend or future girlfriends and the way he loves you. It's a completely different kind of love, so while he'll love them differently I wouldn't say he'll love them more.

It sounds like he may be doing this because he knows his girlfriend makes fun of her sister and that she sees it as normal, perhaps he's afraid if he doesn't make fun of you then this girl will see him as weird. I think you should try talking to just him about it, maybe bring up that he only started saying these things recently. If that doesn't work, I'd just ignore it.

Finally, I think your expectations for friendship with his girlfriend is too high. In my experience, when you want to be best friends with someone (especially someone you don't actually know) it usually doesn't work out the way you think/plan. It's also very likely this isn't going to be the girl he marries.



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Re: My brother and his almost girlfriend make fun of me? - December 20th 2016, 01:56 AM

I agree with what has been said in that the love can't be compared. The love for a sibling and the love for a partner are two very different types of love.

I do think talking to your brother is something to consider. I think it can be normal in the sense that you can make fun of someone as long as the person you're poking fun at thinks it is funny too. Perhaps you can explain that you don't think this is funny so he knows how it makes you feel.

I hope your brother stops making fun of you soon.


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