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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Post I overheard my sister talking about me. - March 20th 2017, 08:17 PM

I came home from school today and my sister had her friend with her and they both were in my sisters room and I overheard them talking about me. Her friend said why are you always so mean to your sister and why do you call her fat when she is not fat she is really small. My sister says to her friend that she likes to wind me up and she thinks it is funny to be mean to me. I started to get upset because I really do love my sister and I am not mean to her. I have told her many times that it hurts me when she is being mean to me and I wish she would not say things like this to me. I went to my room because I didn't want my sister to know that I overheard them talking about me.
   
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Re: I overheard my sister talking about me. - March 20th 2017, 08:45 PM

Hi there, London.

I'm sorry that your sister says these things to you. Overhearing this does let you know that she doesn't really mean what she says since she is just trying to "wind you up." She may even be jealous. Have you asked her why she feels the need to wind you up? Regardless of her intentions, it's not okay for her to say you're fat. All that does is tear down your self-esteem and confidence, when your sister should be encouraging you and reminding you of the beauty you have.

You mentioned you have spoken to your sister and let her know that it hurts a lot when she says such rude things to you. That is good that you opened up to her to let her know how it was affecting you. But since she still seems to be treating you the same way then it may be a good idea to talk to your sister and let her know you did overhear her talking to her friend. This will allow you to state that "winding you up" just hurts your feelings. Tell her you love her and wouldn't want to wind her up this way, but rather remind her of her positive qualities.

You could write a heartfelt note if that'd be easier for you. Hopefully you can get through to her and make her aware that her words are damaging, and that you want to be closer to her instead of being in a battle. In the meantime do you know of anything you can do with her for fun, such as a bonding activity to bring you two closer together? She may find that getting along with you and becoming closer together is a more positive experience than bringing you down.

If nothing works by communicating with her then is it possible to speak to your parents and let them know she mentioned how she tries to wind you up? Since she may take your parents more seriously then it might help to hear from her mom and dad that her words are hurting you a lot.

When someone is saying harsh things regarding your body and/or your personality, it can be incredibly hurtful and can make you begin believing those harsh words. Which is why I'd like to remind you that the things your sister says about you isn't true at all. You're just as wonderful as you've always been, and it is your sister who is showing her true colors by treating you badly. So don't forget to remind yourself of those positive qualities you have, okay? I hope things improve between you and your sister soon, London. Take care.


For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
~ John 3:16 (KJV)
   
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Re: I overheard my sister talking about me. - March 21st 2017, 07:13 PM

Ok and thank you for what you said.
   
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