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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Taylor44200 Offline
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Angry I'm so aggravated with my mom - May 13th 2017, 09:27 PM

Everytime I'm just sitting quietly on my phone she comes over and asks what's wrong or if I'm okay and I always get really annoyed because nothing is wrong and idk what her reasoning is for thinking otherwise. This isn't unusual behavior or anything it's the same thing I always do. And when I tell her nothing is wrong she just stares at me for like 5 minutes. It gets me really annoyed because sometimes I just don't feel like talking and if I try to tell her that she thinks I'm antisocial and am depressed.
   
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Re: I'm so aggravated with my mom - May 13th 2017, 10:55 PM

Hey there,

My mom does something similar every now and then, so I can definitely understand where your frustrations come from. That being said, I'm sure her heart is in the right place and that she is just trying to show concern and/or interest in your life in the best way she knows how.

Has your relationship with your mother changed at all recently? It's not uncommon to stop being as open with your mom about the things that are going on in your life during your teenage years. While almost every teenager pulls back from their parents for a bit (meaning your mom probably did it too), it's possible that she's genuinely just concerned that something is going on, especially if the two of you were close in the past. She might be interpreting the change in dynamic as you avoiding filling her in on what is going on in your life and, in turn, may be assuming that whatever it is is something negative.

Regardless of whether or not this is the case, you might want to consider sitting down with your mom and having a talk with her about your frustrations. She may not even realize that the way she's approaching things is causing you irritation. I'd recommend using "I" statements (I feel ______ when you ______) when discussing your feelings about it with her. Doing so makes it sound less accusatory, meaning people tend to be more receptive to what you have to say rather than going on the defense.

Perhaps you could also make an effort to let her into your life a little bit more. In actuality, that's probably all she's really hoping for. While you don't have to let her into every aspect of your life (you are still allowed your privacy), try sitting down with her over dinner or going on a mother/daughter date once a week or so to fill her in on things like your classes, friendships, relationships, or anything else that you feel comfortable telling her about. Even asking her for advice on minor things is sure to make her feel like she's being helpful and like she is still a part of your life, even as you are growing up.

Take care,
Sammi


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