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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Astar Offline
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Confused - May 18th 2017, 09:50 PM

I've known my best mate for nearly two years. Don't get me wrong, I do like her, but not that much. It started a while back when I told her who I liked and she told me I have no chance with them, yet she said lots of people like her. I just thought that was a bit weird. It went on though, she forgot to get me a Christmas present, and completely forgot it was my birthday. She's told me people find me annoying when they meet me, and has given me things of my personality that I should consider changing if i want people to like me. (In fairness most people do like me so I'm not sure what she meant) I started my new class in January and made some new friends.. who don't make me feel bad. She's got some new friends to, and now when we meet it's awkward. She seems to be closer to them and me to my new friends. Recently her mum died, but he didn't tell me.. I found out afterwards, I said how bad I felt but she didn't want to speak with me. Whenever we meet she tries to ignore me, and in all honesty I don't want to speak to her. I usually only do when I'm waiting for someone else. I don't want to be mean and ditch her, but I'm not sure I want to be close friends either.

I can do it and I can get through it. So can you xx
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Ambedo. Offline
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Re: Confused - May 19th 2017, 04:30 AM

Hey there,

From what you've described, this definitely doesn't sound like a healthy friendship. It also sounds like you're starting to recognize that, which is a great step in the right direction. I can understand why you're hesitant to walk away from this friendship but, in this instance, I really do think it's for the best.

If you don't want to completely abandon the friendship, that's understandable. That being said, distancing yourself from her would probably be in your best interest. After all, your friends should build you up and make you feel important...and there's no reason to keep making an effort for someone who doesn't do that for you. After all, you need to put yourself and your feelings first.

Distance does one of two things to friendships: it either makes both parties realize how valuable the friendship was and make an effort to repair whatever damage has been done or both parties simply realize that it was only meant to be a temporary friendship and go their separate ways. Either way, distancing yourself from her will lead things to take their natural course. Whichever way it goes, trust that things will happen the way that they're supposed to.

Take care,

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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cynefin Offline
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Re: Confused - May 19th 2017, 02:03 PM

Like it has been said, this doesn't sound like a healthy friendship but it is good that you made some new friends. That is a positive experience. If you think distancing yourself from this person is what is best for you, go for it. You deserve to do what is best for yourself.

It is hard when a friendship becomes distant, however. In the meantime, maybe you could focus on your relationship with your newer friends. That could help strengthen your new friendships while giving you something new to focus on.

Take care.

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