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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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fallenskies Offline
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Rant - June 1st 2017, 09:25 AM

I fucking hate my dad. he's always shouting at me for being rude, not doing chores, when he's a lazy fuck himself. he comes home from work, has dinner, watches tv, and then goes to bed. he doesnt help clean the house, anything. he doesnt help pick us up. when we forget something he shouts at us for being irresponsible even though when he forgets important things he's always fine with it. He says i have an attitude problem and yes, I do, towards him, because he can't fucking learn how to respect us. if i dont do my homework he shouts at me, if i stay up a little late doing homework he shouts at me, if im doing my homework on my laptop he shouts at me for being on my laptop too much. i mean hello?? we're living in the 21st century. not everything is handwritten. most of my fucking stuff are on my fucking computer. he's never satisfied with us. he pretends to be all nice and 'stereotypical' when he's out with friends, praising my brother and i, not shouting at us when we, idk, roll down a hill or something. but once we leave he shouts at us in the car. i cant fucking stand it anymore.


Heyo. PM or VM me if you need someone to listen. I'm also constantly in need of hugs so if you wanna give me some that'd be great too
   
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Re: Rant - June 1st 2017, 08:43 PM

Hey there, You have no idea how much I relate to this. My dad is the same way except he lives in another state and I'm an adult, so I have some control over how often I interact with him. Now he claims he doesn't understand why I'm limiting contact. I'm sure if I had grown up with my parents together, my situation would look a lot like yours.

The good/bad news is that you can't control him. It took me years to realize that I was never going to make my dad happy, no matter what I did or how hard I tried. So, I've had to accept that that's just the way it is. I'm going to do what is best for me and let him throw tantrums if he doesn't like it. Unfortunately, since you live together, that means that he'll continue to go off like this and still be in your space while he's doing it.

The other good/bad news is that it probably has nothing to do with you. If he gets upset over every little thing and nothing you can do will make him happy, then chances are his being upset and difficult has nothing to do with you, that's something that is his problem and he'll have to work on it if he wants to change. I eventually realized that I wasn't the only one my dad criticized. He does it to literally everyone except himself, so it's obviously not a problem I'm causing him.

I'm not going to tell you to defy him or to have an attitude back. As much as he probably deserves it, it won't help anything. And you can't really do what he wants well enough to make him stop being this way either. Just do the best you can to complete your chores and responsibilities and don't take his negative reactions personally. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but it's really the only way.

As far as him not doing anything and expecting you to, he might think that because he goes to work and supports the family, the rest of the stuff isn't his job. I'm not saying it's right, but maybe that's where it's coming from. Just try to remember that this isn't about you and don't absorb all the negative stuff he throws at you.


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Re: Rant - June 3rd 2017, 01:42 PM

I get what you are going through, my dad is just like that. he never listens to what i have to say even if I am being bullied. My mum is the same and they are both controlling. i have recently started to see a counsellor and she really helps because she gives me a space to talk about what is happening, it might help you as well.

If you want to talk I would be quite happy to.


“She felt so much emotionally, she would say, that a physical outlet - physical pain - was the only way to make her internal pain go away. It was the only way she could control it.”
― Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

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