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sarahjjj Offline
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Exclamation Please help. How Should I deal with my friend? - June 4th 2017, 07:18 PM

Our school had a musical showcase on a 1/2 day. My friends and I prepared 3 songs and I had a separate solo. 1st period: I do my solo but my friends don't come see it because they don't want to fall behind in class. It went really well and I got a ton of compliments on it, which I think pissed off my friend Megan. I also signed us up to go period 2. 2nd: They come and we perform our weakest piece and it is awful. There were mic problems and we all walked away really embarrassed. My one friend, Megan, starts yelling at me for asking for us to do that song (I was trying to start off with our worst piece so we could end with our strongest). Then I go to sign us up for another slot, but since it was a short day all the slots were filled. Megan starts screaming about how awful I am for not signing us up enough and for "making sure I did my solo and the song I picked out"(I didn't have a special part in the song or anything, I just suggested it). I go up to the teacher and I explain our situation and I am able to talk her into performing the piece where Megan gets a solo part because I feel bad. Then Megan freaks out saying I'm being mean to the teacher by making her fit us into the schedule and decided to go up, apologize for me, and cancel our routine. In the end, another group dropped out and they asked us to perform last minute and it went well, but Megan still won't talk to me. HELP. I feel really bad and I don't know how to make it better.
   
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Re: Please help. How Should I deal with my friend? - June 4th 2017, 08:15 PM

I honestly don't think there is anything you can do. This isn't your fault. The song went badly, so what? She's the one freaking out and treating you badly and making you responsible for everything, right downcast to thinks she could have controlled. Like why didn't she sign you guys up for the slots you were doing together? Why isn't she recognizing that your song was embarrassing for you too? Even if you messed up by not signing up soon enough, it's not like you were being malicious; basically this whole thing and how it played out is affecting you just as much as her, but unlike her, you were forced to deal with her treating you like shit because she was embarrassed and took it out of you. No matter why it happened, she treated you like crap and that's wrong.

If you want to fix it, I think you can acknowledge her embarrassment, tell her your sorry she feels it went badly, but remind her that at least everything worked out and that you guys performed your song well. Just don't apologize for your actions. She's treated you badly, if why thing she should be apoligizimg to you for treating you like shit, so....




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Re: Please help. How Should I deal with my friend? - June 5th 2017, 12:03 PM

Like it's been said, this isn't your fault at all. It sounds like your friend was either really upset about the song, or maybe she had something else going on in her life and couldn't cope with it, so she took it out on you and the song.

You said your friend still isn't talking to you. Maybe it would help if you gave everything a little bit more time to cool down. Sometimes it's difficult to communicate when things are still fresh.


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Re: Please help. How Should I deal with my friend? - June 5th 2017, 03:42 PM

She was treating you unfairly so I agree to not apologize for that because she should be apologizing to you.

You seemed to do the best you could have done with what you had and the time you had. I mean, embarassing things happen but like it has been said, you were in the embarassing situation too and you missed the slot too. You weren't mistreating her like she was mistreating you.

Perhaps you can talk to her about it with her when things aren't as fresh.

Remember also, to treat yourself kindly. Sometimes recharging your inner self can help with giving you perspective and wisdom and with presenting yourself and communicating effectively.
   
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