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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Freedom - July 14th 2017, 10:06 PM

Ever since I was little I haven't had as much freedom as other people my age. Until I was 15 i had never even up with a friend in a place that wasn't school. I consider myself to have a decent amount of friends but spend all my time cancelling plans cos 'I'm not allowed to go' in 18 now, my curfew is 6 ish and I'm only allowed out to certain places (mostly just the town centre). My dad is not great so it has been up to my mum to raise me, but by keeping me inside thinking it's best to do everything as a family, I'm always bored and annoyed. I get on well with my mum and sister, but they are very close and I am the 'other' one. If I stay at home too long i also get into arguements with my parents, and when I don't see my friends in weeks I feel so left out. I've explained all this to my mum and she says I can see people if the family don't have plans (meaning me my mum and sister) but even then she says I'm not helping out enough, shouldn't be allowed to get out of helping out at home to see people etc. My sister hasn't even been allowed to meet any of her friends outside of school and she's 17 in a few months.
It feels like mums trying to keep us as kids when at 18 I'm ready to grow up, at least somewhat. I've explained this all to her and she still refuses to let me go out unless it's very occasionally, back early (before 5 if I can help it) and just local. I just want what other people get freedom wise.


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Re: Freedom - July 16th 2017, 02:15 PM

Even though speaking to your mom about this hasn't been as successful as you would have liked, it is still good that you've reached out and talked to her about this.

Do you know if your mom has any other reasons as to why she doesn't want you to go out and spend time with your friends? Have you let her know that you understand family time is important, but people outside of family are important as well?

Maybe you can talk to your mom again and see if you can compromise. You could ask if you could see your friends a little more often and have a bit later of a curfew in exchange for something, such as help around the house or time as a family. You could try to word it so it benefits her as well. For instance, you could say that meeting your friends would allow your mom and sister to have quality time, or your mom could have a little bit of time to herself.

You could also let her know where you're going and with whom. You can check in every so often to let her know how you're doing.

If you're able to make a compromise with her, you may be able to make more of them as time goes on; you could slowly increase the amount of time you spend with your friends, as well as your curfew time.


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