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Adele101 Offline
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Sick and tired of my family - July 31st 2017, 03:38 PM

Basically, I do not have a very understanding family at all and I've suffered from it a lot. My parents get angry and upset when I spend a lot of time on my own in my room and make me feel bad about myself because of it, but when I do spend time with them most of the time I end up feeling irritated and pissed because of how annoying and misunderstanding they are. The majority of the time I spend with my family it's just bickering and my parents going on about how stupid we are and how we should be smarter and more helpful for them. And then there's also my dad's sexism which just drives me insane to say the least. He's always going on about how me and my sister should be working more at home and do less of lounging around and the fact that we are on holiday means that we should be doing housework etc. In addition my entire life I've been portrayed as the bad child, the one with the bad temper, sharp tongue, less religious than everyone else etc. I'm the eldest and so there's already enough pressure on me, but it's not only my parents and immediate family who treat me like I'm always messing up, it's most of my relatives. It's been making my depression even worse because I know that I can't express myself to them truly. My sister (who is a year younger than me) is always being praised and it's often said to my face that she is better than me, smarter, more respectful etc, when really she isn't, she just doesn't care about people and is so dreaming arrogant it's insane. This has definitely taken its toll on me in every way possible. I just don't know how they can say such horrible things to me and then act as if everything is okay. How can I possibly not allow them to get to me, how can I make them believe that maybe I'm not as bad as they make me out to be? I know there are loads of people with worse problems than this but I needed to get this out. Thanks.
   
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Re: Sick and tired of my family - August 3rd 2017, 01:08 PM

Hopefully getting this out helped you feel a little bit better. Sometimes expressing yourself can do a world of good. Try to remember that what you're experiencing matters and it is significant. It can be hard to refrain comparing yourself to other people, but when you compare yourself, even in a general way, you can't get a true comparison.

Are any of your relatives approchable to have a conversation with? If so, you could sit down with them and explain how you feel when they say things using "I" statements. You may also be able to talk to your other siblings, especially your sister, and see how she feels. If she feels similarly, you could talk to your parents or other relatives together and serve as a support for one another.

It might help if you find reasons to get out of the house so you aren't around them as much. You could find different things to do, like volunteering or simply taking a few walks a day to get some time with your thoughts. Getting out of the house would be a nice change of scenery.

As for not letting them get to you, it is going to hurt when people say things like that and you can't help how you feel. You can help how you cope with those feelings, though. Maybe you could find some new outlets or hobbies to get involved in. You could write down some affirmations to repeat to yourself when someone says something negative to you. See if you can do a search for positive affirmations and pick out a few you like, or make up your own.


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Re: Sick and tired of my family - August 4th 2017, 10:51 PM

Thank you so much for your reply, it's a great help. But unfortunately my parents are very over protective so I'm never allowed out the house unless it's with them or with friends and they know exactly who what where and when I'm doing it all. I've thought of volunteering but that ship's kind of sailed since the summer has already started. Your right though, I do feel surprisingly better during school weeks because I'm around them a lot less often, I just can't wait till the summer is over. I feel horrible for saying that though. Thanks anyway!!
   
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