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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Lightbulb I wish my mom didn't have me. - August 6th 2017, 03:29 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I was three when my mom left me in Illinois with my dad to go to Louisiana. I was 8 when she came back. over that 5 years I got two letters. no phone calls. I cried so much over her. I still do at 16. when I was 12, my step brother found out my mom and dad were trying to fool around I guess. my step mom forbid her from coming in the house again. after that the truth came out. my mom lied to me so much. so so much. and she puts her relationships above me. she'll move out of town to be with a guy. when she gets a new boyfriend I won't hear from her for weeks. recently, she broke up with her boyfriend (and IG they were high school sweethearts) but she hasn't attempted to contact me for weeks. my sister (on my dads side I'm an only child on my moms side) lives down the street from where my mom is living right now. her truck is gone becaise she works 7;30AM to 3:30 PM. but at night her truck is out front. she doesn't know I see her truck or I'm at my sisters house. I don't think my mom should have had me if she would just abandon me like this. she shouldn't have left me like this. I don't know what to do to make this feel better.
   
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Re: I wish my mom didn't have me. - August 7th 2017, 01:05 PM

It is good that you wrote about your mom and got some of your feelings out. Hopefully writing about her helped.

It must be very difficult for you to not have much of a relationship with your mom. You certainly don't deserve this abandonment. Is seeing a professional an option for you? If it is, that could be something to consider. If not, you could do some research on doing some self-help things on experiencing abandonment.

Something to consider is that while family can be important, they aren't always important and they are not necessary for someone to lead a long and healthy life. The way your mom abandoned you is wrong, but nothing anyone can do will take that way. Feeling like your mom shouldn't have had you given what you have been through is normal. As troubling as that is, someday when you are ready you can work through the pain she has given you and start to do what is best for you.

Family means a lot to people, especially when they are younger because family is what people have. But, when you get older, you don't need family to do things anymore and you can pick your own friends and family. Because of your growing independence, some family members (especially unhealthy ones) can kind of fade to the background.

How is your relationship with your step mom? Do you think you could lean on her and strengthen what you two have, if you have a good relationship? It is definitely not the same as your mom but you could benefit from having a positive female in your life.


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